Why are you struggling and trying hard to fit in when you are not just that type of person.
It is unhealthy and bad.
You are special, unique and meant to stand out.
I never had the best of experiences in high school. In fact, I chose to block the memories from my head by having a more positive outlook to life.
Looking back at those days, I have come to realize that it is natural for people to hate what/who they can't be or don't understand so that they can feel good about themselves.
The irony of this is that this "good" feeling is temporary because it is not real. Therefore, they rinse and repeat the hate process again and again until you succumb to their pressure.
These 4 reasons will help you stop the habit of trying to fit in because you are NOT just that type of person.
Reason 1: Stop judging yourself from others point of view
This only happens when you compare yourself with others. I once did this to myself and it is depressing.
I was bullied for no apparent reasons by my classmates. I was the center of their jokes and gossips.
They wanted me to fit in to their ways because they couldn't fit into mine. None of my classmates then understood me. I was unique in my own ways but I never knew it then because I was judging myself from their point of view.
I am not an eccentric neither do I have any strange habits. I was different from them all in a positive way.
I didn't realize this until many years after high school. Some of my classmates then in high school later confessed to me how they secretly loved and admired me.
A few of them even told me that I inspired them to be what they are today.
Stop judging yourself from other people's point of view. Accept yourself for who you are now.
Reason 2: Learn to say "NO" and stop impressing others
In all my years on earth, anytime I tried to impress other people, I fail terribly at it. I learnt the hard way to always say "NO" when it is necessary to.
In my final year in high school, there was this particular teacher in my school that I dislike so much (the feeling was mutual).
I don't like his methods of teaching and rather preferred to study on my own terms than be in his class. He was not pleased with me because of my decision.
I skipped his classes and never had a single note for about two terms but I always emerge as the best student in his subject.
How did I do it? I simply get the course outline at the beginning of each term from my course mates and then use it as a study guide during tests and the exam.
Because of this, the teacher disliked me the more but there was nothing he could do about it.
The point of this story is that you should stop impressing others when unnecessary. You are responsible for your happiness.
Reason 3: You have every right to be here
Back in high school, I was one of the sharp minds in my class. I am naturally an introvert and when I was younger, I tried doing sports (football) so as to feel among but I was always left out of the "team" by my peers for no apparent reason.
Some of my classmates were naturally envious of me and couldn't hide their hatred for me. There was a day when one of my classmates ---during a normal conversation with him--- angrily told me that I combine all their brains for my academic success.
I don't know why he had such thoughts. I was shocked and surprised because the statement came out of nowhere.
I was initially bothered by all these due to the need to fit in then I realized later in life that I have every right to be here as anyone else and so do you.
According to Max Ehrmann's Desiderata, "You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
Reason 4: Love yourself and listen to your positive heart
In the words of Marianne Williamson "Your playing small doesn't serve the world... And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same."
My life is not perfect in any way. I have enough experiences to back this up and so does everyone else including you.
The main difference between you experience and I is attitude.
What is your attitude to life?
I always choose to have a very positive outlook to life. I look at my imperfections perfectly and I love myself dearly. You should do the same too.
I am constantly building mansions from the bricks thrown at me by life. I have always made great lemonades from life's lemons even though I have never tasted lemonade before.
If you have some flaws in your life, try all you can to cure them but never feel low about them.
Love yourself dearly and listen to your positive heart always. You are already a great fit.You are not like everyone else.
You are unique in your own ways.
You speak differently, talk differently, eat differently, spend differently, give differently, joke differently, study differently etc.
You and I do all things differently because we both fit in greatly.
Be strong and bold because you are a star, whether or not it is clear to you. You have a right to be here.
Once again, stop trying hard to fit in because you are already a great fit.