Apparently, not even the massive King of Diamonds can contain all the strippers in Miami. Attorneys doing business at Downtown's Federal Detention Center -- a maximum security prison -- say the joint is overrun with dancers posing as paralegals.
Lawyers hired by imprisoned drug kingpins pass the women off as legal assistants and authorities let them in, according to a report by Miami New Times. This being Miami, it was apparently no big deal until other attorneys realized they might start losing clients to those whose billable hours come with a little bada bing.
"They take off their tops and let the guys touch them," veteran defense attorney Hugo Rodriguez told New Times. "The majority of these young, very attractive women are noncitizens brought in exclusively for the purposes of visiting the FDC. Any lawyer can sign a form and designate a legal assistant. There is no way of verifying it. The process is being abused."
The report alleges one 'paralegal' was caught having sex with an inmate in a room used for legal meetings, while another was busted stripping in a Special Housing Unit -- also known as solitary confinement -- and banned from the prison altogether.
While many attorneys are up in arms -- or being forced to take off their bras -- others are used to Miami being, well, Miami.
"If you want some good people-watching, try the FDC," attorney Marc Seitles told New Times. "It certainly beats paying a cover and waiting on lines to get into LIV."
This isn't the first instance of one or more lovely Miami ladies with cartel clients in super max prisons. In 2009, the Denver Post profiled a woman named Lulu who left the Magic City to be closer to clients who paid her $125 an hour to deliver legal docs and keep a little company. And just north of Miami in Broward County, there's less security but a lot more 'access' -- female corrections employees are the ones getting friendly, with one caught having sex with an inmate in a broom closet.