Stunning Nevada Results: Marco Rubio Claims Victory Among Voters Who Voted for Marco Rubio

Elephant statue painted red, white and blue
Elephant statue painted red, white and blue

"Thank you for the win!" Marco Rubio announced to his follower shortly after the polls closed in Nevada. "I'm honored and humbled that the voters who voted for me have now made me their Number One choice four times in a row!"

Seeking to capitalize on his seemingly unstoppable Marco-mentum, Rubio promised twelve more victories in the Super Tuesday primaries next week no matter who comes in first.

"Here's why I won and why I'm going to keep winning," Rubio explained, quaking with excitement. "Donald Trump is getting but a portion of the potential votes. But me, I am getting every single vote that I have the potential to get!" Rubio shouted for emphasis: "One hundred percent!" His fan thundered with a clap, shrugged, and then went back to sweeping ballots off the floor of the nearly-empty high school gym.

Rubio is not concerned that he is falling behind in the delegate count even though he is winning handsomely among his fanbase. "True conservatives reject common core math," Rubio explained. "That's why my voters accept my numbers with pride."