Mondays are the pits for many people, because this day starts their work week. Dwayne Yeager was no exception; so badly did he want to avoid going in to the job on Monday, that he did something really dumb to get out of it.
That’s because, according to deputies, his wife didn’t want him to miss work doing fabrication at a plant, which is actually what he did to avoid going into work: He fabricated a burglary of his house. Stupid.
Yeager, 31, called authorities a bit after 7 a.m. and said, “I need a sheriff in Brandon.” He told a dispatcher he’d been gone for a short while, then returned to see his door and windows open, TVs on the floor.
Deputies showed up to an apparently ransacked house, but saw no signs of forced entry. A neighbor reported that Yeager was gone from 6:30 to 7:15, went through the front door, opened the front bedroom window and lifted the blinds. Then he stepped outside and waited for deputies. The neighbor said there was no car on the property before Yeager returned.
Yeager admitted the lie to avoid going to work. He was arrested and charged with one count of giving false information to the police, then released later that day on $500 bail.
What a doofus. All he had to do was fabricate a stomachache from the previous day’s “bad meat” or a migraine headache or something like that. But you didn’t hear it from me.