The divorce rate is right around 50 percent and it increases a bit each year while effective co-parenting decreases significantly. Have you ever been glad you weren't in someone else's shoes because their divorce and custody are just such a mess? Well, life doesn't have to be like that and I am going to provide very specific ways in how parents can divorce themselves but they cannot divorce their children in the co parenting process to raise healthy, happy, loving, successful, spirit filled, kind, mindful, sincere, vibrant children.
When two people divorce it is extremely difficult on children and there are two people that can make the process a lot easier but often times choose not to. One of the greatest gifts we have been given is that of choice but kids didn't choose for their parents to separate. Please do not put children in the middle and don't make them choose sides. Biological parents are the only two people who should be making adult decisions for their children. Kids shouldn't feel left out and should be able to communicate with their parents as freely as they want to.
I encourage you to make your children feel important, build up their confidence and teach them to believe in themselves. Increase the love you show to your children because divorce sometimes makes them feel guilty and you can make them feel more secure and at peace. It is best not to argue in front of your children or discuss living arrangements when they are present. Engage in meaningful conversations together so you know exactly what is going on in your kid's lives. Create simple schedules for them and easy meals, preparations for bed and homework time. Transitioning to new schools and making new friends can be difficult so make sure you help your kids adjust the best way you can. Allow your kids to talk to you about anything and everything and don't be too harsh on them because they have feelings too and shouldn't be punished for temper tantrums when their whole lives have been changed.
One of the best things you can do is quickly forgive one another for whatever problems you faced in your marriage and don't hold grudges. Kids are really smart and will pick up on your energy when you are around the opposite parent so make the best experiences n front of your kids. I know it is extremely difficult to get along with your ex but fake it for the sake of your children as they deserve to feel safe, free to be a child and not have to conform to your childish behaviors! Put yourself in your kid's shoes and think how you would feel if you were them, then act accordingly. There are a lot of ways parents can set aside their negative differences for the sake of their children and co parent for children to experience as much normalcy as possible. The long term effects that negative co parenting have on kids takes a lifetime to repair and you can make a significant difference now, so do it!
Life isn't always easy but it can be with the help or two parents who love their children unconditionally and need to learn some simple tips to develop successful co parenting situations. I believe in you and make sure you set a great example and speak nice because your kids are watching, listening and learning from you all the time. Be great because I know you can.