I observe how well my friend and his ex-wife co-parent. They are respectful, communicate and even share their family dog together. To further blow your mind, she was given a spare key to his house.
I drill him all the time.
"Are you sure you don't want to get back together with her?"
His answer is always the same, "No."
The marriage didn't work, but that doesn't mean it has to turn into an ugly cliché with both sides bickering and fighting over the details.
Especially when there are two children involved.
Divorce is draining enough without constant negativity and lobbying for control over custody and finances.
What is best for the kids? You agreed to start a family together. If there was ever a time to be unselfish, it's during a divorce with children.
Whatever pain the other party has put you through, sometimes you have to stuff it and move on. Why? Because your kids didn't ask for this. They don't want to be put in the position where they have to choose between Mom and Dad. Unless there is some sort of violence or domestic abuse, then chances are they want and need both parents.
They are part of both of you, whether you want to hear that or not. They share the same DNA as the person you no longer want to be with.
Does that mean the kids might need the stability of one home over the other. Maybe. Does that mean financially you no longer can take vacations or random day trips, concerts or other extracurricular social activities? Possibly.
Does it mean you have to suck it up and communicate with the other side in order to continue to raise healthy, happy, well-rounded kids? Yup.
Hopefully you didn't marry someone because you hated them. You wouldn't do that, right? Somewhere along the ride you actually liked, even loved that person. You chose to have children with them.
Now, I can't imagine a time that I would share my dog or hand over a spare key to my ex, but there has to be a middle ground.
Otherwise your kids are trying to get through their childhood on a foundation of quick sand. Never knowing which step will send them sinking into the earth.
You don't have to hold each other's hand anymore, but your children still need both your hands to hold them up.
Support HuffPost
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
Would you join us to help keep our stories free for all? Your contribution of as little as $2 will go a long way.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Support HuffPostAlready contributed? Log in to hide these messages.