SunChips Bags Are Too Noisy: Yet Another Reason We Suck

We live in a world filled with unwanted noise. But apparently the people at SunChips have taken the sound of snacking to an unacceptable decibel level with their 100 percent biodegradable bags. Customer complaints have halted the production of the eco-friendly packaging.

The package is too loud and crinkly, people say. More so than the original non-biodegradable bag apparently.

Where are we eating these things? Church? The library? Forget the bag. Eating chips is an inherently noisy act. I have to turn the volume up on the TV just from chewing on a SunChip.

I'd like to have a word with the people who noticed the extra noise emitted from their unwieldy hands reaching into a potato chip bag.

I can picture it:

A man reclining on his La-Z-Boy calls out to his wife, "Honey, could you come in here for a moment?"

"Yes dear?"

"Darling, does this bag seem a little bit louder than before?"

"Hmm, let me see," she reaches into the bag for a chip. "Oh dear God Harold!" She stumbles backward, clutching her ears. "You must do something about that savage noise!"

"I think I just will. Bring me a phone book and my saxophone."

With all of the country's problems, not to mention the world's legitimate packaging problems -- my grandma can't even open a bottle of juice without a power tool attachment for chrissake -- this is the one issue that consumers decide take into their own hands? Really people? I have an idea. Put them in a bowl if the bag is bothering you.

How can we possibly reduce our dependence on oil when we can't even get used to a little extra crinkle with our effing SunChips?