Every year Super Bowl Sunday affords millions of Americans the chance to combine their two most favorite pastimes: football and excessive drinking.
But why just blindly consume thousands of calories in alcohol when there's a chance to turn this into a more meaningful experience?
In the spirit of friendly competition we've put together a little something to guide your imbibing spirit through this evening's festivities. At least this way there's a reason for everyone to get involved in the game, even if you're a fan of one of the other 30 teams in the league that totally got screwed out of a chance to go all the way because of awful refs and a bad call, an unfortunate injury, or because God/the universe/whatever-it-is-you-believe-in just simply hates them.
If you are a fan of either the Seattle Seahawks or the Denver Broncos though, we've thrown in a few special, team-oriented drinking opportunities for you. That said, if you happen to live in one of the two states where these teams are from, you can just scrap this whole drinking thing and start smoking that fine American weed. Just remember to order wings and pizza before you start playing.
So presented - with limited further ado - is the Huffington Post's completely unofficial Super Bowl XLVII drinking game, brought to you by absolutely no one whatsoever (though if say, Budweiser or Coors or even some small craft beer company - pretty much anyone - wants to get behind this thing, we're totally down) but us.
DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE.
WARNING: The Huffington Post does not encourage binge drinking, and this game has not been field-tested for safety. Participate at your own risk... or just lie to your friends and keep heading to the bathroom to fill your beer can with water. That will work... seriously.
THE REALLY, REALLY SHORT VERSION (DO NOT ATTEMPT WITHOUT SUPERVISION)
- Do a shot every time Peyton Manning says Omaha.
- That is all.
The Full Game
Pre-game
- If the coin-toss is heads, take a shot.
- If the Seahawks win the toss, chug a beer.
- Avalanche starting with the tallest person in your group through the entirety of the national anthem.
- If the national anthem goes over 2 minutes and 20 seconds, play one round of "never have I ever" and everyone who loses does a shot.
During The Game
- Take a sip for each touchback. Make someone chug for 5 seconds if they ask you what a touchback is.
- Take a sip each any time Compton is mentioned.
- Take a sip any time the Broncos' #1 offense is called out.
- Take a swig whenever Richard Sherman's Stanford education is mentioned.
- Take a shot any time Richard Sherman is flagged for a penalty.
- Chug through any mention of Troy Aikman's career.
- Take a sip each time Skittles are shown.
- Take a sip any time the Seahawks' #1 defense is mentioned.
- Take a sip anytime Eli Manning is shown.
- - If, after Eli is shown, any of your friends at the party who don't know football ask "are they brothers?" - make them do a shot.
- Take a sip anytime Archie Manning is shown.
- - If, after Archie is shown, any of your friends at the party who don't know football ask "are they brothers?" - make them do two shots, and shake your head in disapproval.
- Take a sip at any mention of the "12th man."
- Start chugging when Marshawn Lynch enters "Beast Mode" and don't stop until he's tackled. Give a 10 second chug if someone asks you what "Beast Mode" is.
- Take a sip at any mention of "Beast Mode" or "Legion of Boom"
- Take a shot at any mention of the power outage during last year's Super Bowl.
- Take a bong hit any time marijuana is mentioned, but if you don't live in Seattle or Washington make sure you've covered that little space under the door or the neighbors will totally smell it.
Halftime And Commercials
- Drink beer through the duration of any beer commercial. If you don't realize it was a beer commercial until it's over, chug for 15 seconds.
- - If you happen to be drinking the type of beer that commercial is for though, give a 30 second chug to a friend.
- Dancing animals? Take a sip.
- Take a shot if you see Rudy. Take a shot right now if you don't know who Rudy is.
- Car commercial that overly emphasizes how American that car is? Take a sip.
- - BONUS: If that commercial utilizes a highly recognizable celebrity voice, chug for 10 seconds and recite the pledge of allegiance.
- Take a sip after any commercial that simply isn't funny, just to make the pain go away.
- Take a shot of whiskey if there's a GoDaddy commercial that alludes to what might be the opportunity to see celebrity porn if you visit their site.
- If you don't like the Red Hot Chili Peppers, chug Goldschlagger's for the entirety of their performance.
- Take a shot for every shirtless Chili Pepper.
- If you don't really care for Bruno Mars, eh, that's okay. Eat some chips.
- DOUBLE BONUS: Shotgun a beer in the wake of a "wardrobe malfunction." Then cry a little.
We wish you the best of luck, and Godspeed. DRINK RESPONSIBLY.