Supergirl, Please Fix My Computer

I watch very little TV these days, primarily because I often fail to understand initial plotlines and therefore don't have the mental energy to embrace the characters. I stopped watching Game of Thrones 15 minutes into the pilot episode because I couldn't remember which character, Viserys or Daenerys, enlisted the help of Khal Drogo, commander of the Dothraki race, in order to reclaim the Iron Throne. I quickly flipped to Nick at Nite, as it is much easier to follow the exploits of Sam, Diane and Frasier.

But I've become a fan of Supergirl, a CBS series featuring a title character biologically related to the Man of Steel. I didn't gravitate toward it because of the headlines the show recently received for a plotline featuring a spate of bombings. Network executives temporarily shelved the episode, feeling it too closely resembled the recent Paris attacks. I'm not even a lover of science fiction or the supernatural, two themes that dot every episode. Instead, I was drawn to the series via a five-word sentence uttered by one of the characters in a radio spot promoting a recent episode:

"Supergirl, thank God you're here."

While I have never used "Supergirl" in an actual sentence, I have said the remaining four words only twice in my life. The first was when my plumber arrived to repair the sump pump that had malfunctioned during a flash flood. Approximately four feet of water poured into my basement; were I a fisherman, I could have easily stood on my kids' air hockey table and trolled for salmon.

The second time I used his name in an act of gratefulness was when a Best Buy Geek Squad member showed up to repair my ailing PC. Yes, he was 90 minutes late and blamed his tardiness on a faulty GPS, an excuse I found extremely ironic. After all, the man was supposed to be a technology expert. Still, he was now standing in my foyer, ready to dissect the inner workings of my Dell machine and uncover the reason why, when I clicked the "print" icon, I received some cryptic message about being "unable to spool."

A handyman and a computer expert are the only two individuals whose mere presence should come with the Lord's name. Even when my daughter came home from college for her first extended visit since leaving the family nest in August, I didn't see it necessary to thank him. I embraced her, told her how much I missed her and immediately offered her the car keys. But I neglected to include a "thank God you're here," knowing that doing so meant I was praising a higher being for the opportunity to wait up until 2 a.m. wondering when my car would be safely back in the garage.

So, I eagerly look forward to watching Supergirl, wondering if she will don her red and blue attire for the purpose of fixing a faulty toilet or restoring Internet connectivity to a family of four. She hasn't done either; although, in one episode, she did use her Supergirl strength to catch a plummeting helicopter.

Yawn.

With the holidays approaching, it seems a perfect time for Supergirl to perform some task so spectacular that it meets my "thank God you're here," criteria. How about this? Supergirl enters an airport the week before Christmas and, with one touch, prevents the reservation system from going down. All travelers board their assigned flights promptly.

From there Supergirl flies over every home that features an outdoor holiday display. With a wave of her hand, she ensures that no light strands inexplicably go dark despite being tested three times by the homeowner.

Finally, in one afternoon, she makes every snow blower start on the first pull, every oven fire up to the proper temperature and every home heating system perform flawlessly for persnickety relatives who are arriving for holiday festivities. Home repair technicians and IT experts, your services are not needed until January 1. Supergirl has it covered.

Thank God.