Hi, I am Melissa and I like to be in control. Heck I even created a profession around it, being a productivity consultant. I go into homes and businesses and help the occupants regain control of their chaos, and I am good at it. Some may even call me a control freak, not in a bad way of course (sarcasm.) I have even been called bossy, not in a bad way of course (sarcasm.) But then life threw me an event that reminded me that I truly am not in control.
For me, that happened six weeks ago when my husband called me with a tremor in his voice and said his position, along with over twenty others, was eliminated. You see, we had been through this before, when his job was eliminated from a company that he had worked with since he left college. This isn't new to us. The timing was unique this time around, as our youngest son was set to leave for college in a little over a week.
Each time one of my children left to go to college, a part of my heart went with them. I always said when my baby left, it would be our time to leave Fargo as well. So, the fact that my husband’s job was eliminated 9 days before our youngest left for college could not have been a coincidence. I just was surprised that it happened without my being in control.
It is always easier looking for a job when you have a job. The energy around having your job eliminated is heavy. You have the moments of self-doubt and wondering what you could have done differently to stay employed. The ability to stay positive is essential.
I know what the recent unemployed are supposed to do. There are checklists and blogs to read and we have read and done them all. I quickly realized that I am on this journey with him. While I went to school to be a lawyer, my husband and I made the joint decision that I would be the primary care giver to our three children. So, his career, is kind of my career. I believe I am the project manager (the one in control) of this process and I take my role very seriously. I keep him focused. I keep him excited. I try to remove all obstacles that he may have. I reached out to all my contacts and asked for help. I keep him on task. I get him away from the computer for a break when needed. I am in control, or so I think.
But today as we faced rejection of the dream job, I sat and cried by myself in the car. I can’t let him see me get emotional. I have to keep control of my emotions. But this piece of rejection is getting the best of me. I didn’t predict it and I can not control this any longer. I am doing the only thing I can do, I am surrendering. I have come to the realization (after my best friend reminded me) that in order to get what I want, I have to give up control. I wiped my tears and put my faith in a higher power. For once in my life I have given up the control. Now I am here to enjoy the journey. I am still here to support my husband but I am no longer project managing him. He is a smart man who is well organized, he doesn’t need me to manage him. He needs me to make him laugh and smile and love him. For now, that is my focus and that is enough.
To Joyful, Simplified Organizing, MS. Simplicity
Melissa is a Productivity Consultant and author living in Fargo, North Dakota doing her best of living a life full of adventure. Filling a life of memories and not of things! Melissa's e-book on Kitchen Organizing can be found on Amazon.