Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts Puts the Kibosh on This Whole Obama-mania Thing

Apparently the Republican Party has completely run out of ways in which to throw cold water on President Obama and the Democratic takeover of the federal government. Consider Tuesday's inaugural festivities. What's an emaciated political party—detritus, road-kill—to do when just about all networks from the Sci-Fi Channel to Weird Korean Channel is covering every Obama hair follicle and Sasha eyebrow-raise ?

How can the Revile-a-cans get out their messages—torture-fun, war, pollution for all, fat rich white guys rule—on Inauguration Day? Their only savior? Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts, who was charged with the rather simple task of administering the oath of office to Obama. Call it payback for Obama voting against confirming the right-wing justice. Instead of reading the oath, the cocky justice thought he could just recite it by memory. Here's how the oath should have been administered according to Article 2, Clause 8 of the Constitution:

"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States."

Pretty easy to memorize, right? But why memorize it? Who gives a crap whether you can wing it? Just get it done Johnny boy...unless of course you don't want to get it done. Instead of reading it, Roberts blurted it out, like messy diarrhea, off the top of his head.

The oath includes the phrase "that I will faithfully execute the office of president of the United States" but Roberts didn't say "faithfully" until after saying "president of the United States."

Obama apparently realized that something was out of order.

Roberts then repeated the phrase correctly, putting "faithfully" in the right place after execute: "faithfully the office of president of the United States."

But Obama instead repeated Roberts' original, incorrect version: "... the office of president of the United States faithfully."

What better way to rain on Obama's parade than to trip him up during the swearing-in. It was pretty successful; upon first view, it did in fact appear that Obama was the one who screwed it up. Seeing the footage again proves that Roberts was the one who made the serious gaffe.

Honest mistake? Maybe, but I'd rather believe this event was plotted by the Republican hierarchy. I can see the meeting now of the top Republicans: Rep. John Boehner and Sen. Mitch McConnell. "How can we fuck up this Obama guy? We got nothing, NOTHING. Someone get Roberts on the phone. I have an idea."