Two years ago I got an intuitive hit that I should write a book about awakening the goddess within. As I am a psychologist and body image expert, I ignored this little nudge from the universe. I mean who am I to write a book about working with your inner goddess (aka intuition)? I study body image and eating disorders. But this little nudge from the universe wouldn't go away. So I finally gave up and gave in.
I wrote that book and started an online community by the same name. My then-husband thought I was crazy, my friends thought I was crazy, my colleagues thought I had lost my marbles. But I did it anyway. And in making that one decision, I would unknowingly alter the course of my life.
In the six months that followed that decision to write a book about the goddess, I:
Wrote that book
Birthed two websites
Got a divorce
Moved
Broke my heel for the second time in a year
Went on sabbatical to write a different book
Turned 40
In that short period of time, my life turned inside out and fell apart. As I watched all of this unfolding (at times it felt so surreal that it really did seem like I was but a pawn in my own life), I realized something: Even though I did honor my intuition and make those major life changes, it was with a one-foot-in-one-foot-out mentality. I worked myself to the bone to make all of that happen, but I didn't trust myself. I wasn't truly allowing things to unfold. I was fighting against the Universe kicking and screaming the whole time.
I know you're probably thinking, "How did that work out for you?"
You know the answer to that question. Not so well, thank you.
It took me another six months, but I finally got it. You can't fight against the Universe and expect to win -- or even keep your sanity! You know that saying, "Everything happens for a reason"? I used to roll my eyes when people said that. Now I smile and say, "Yes, it does."
And that's the beauty of life. Life doesn't happen to you; it happens for you. Just when you're ready to throw in the towel and give up, something happens that you never would have expected -- something that kicks you in the butt -- but that you needed to grow and evolve.
Sometimes the best things in life come from adversity, from not knowing that everything would be okay, but diving in anyway.
Sometimes you have lose everything to gain something more powerful than you could ever imagine.
I'm not saying that life's lessons don't hurt. Some of them sting like a bee, but underneath the pain, there is love, learning, the guidance you needed at the time and maybe didn't even know you were seeking.
I'm also not saying that I have it all figured out -- I don't. Universe continues to test me -- to give me the lessons I need just when I need them. They're not always fun, but I always emerge a stronger woman than I was before.
So here are a few questions for you: What is the Universe trying to tell you? What keeps showing up for you and won't go away? Are you fighting against this lesson or going with the flow?
Now onto the big question: Are you ready to make a change?
Change is scary. I know. I've been there. When I decided to write that book about the Goddess, I was plagued with self-doubt. Then a friend of mine said to me, "Thank your brain for getting you to where you are right now and then kindly tell it to shut up."
Um... yeah. Easier said than done. As soon as I decided to get out of my head and into my body, my brain rebelled and decided to work overtime to make sure I paid attention to it. But while my brain churned mindlessly like a hamster on a wheel, my body got tenser, tighter, and more wound up.
Until one day when I had enough. I decided to let go and ask the Universe for help. I looked up and said, "Okay universe, I want to heal, I want to find balance. Go do your thing!"
And it did. All I had to do was trust myself and the Universe and get out of my own way. What I learned from all of this is that when we make decisions from a place of fear or self-doubt, we will usually be led astray. But when we make decisions from a place of self-love, self-acceptance, and open communication with what our Soul truly desires, we make decisions that honor us.
Namaste.