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Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day Alternatives for Realists

This annual event invites parents to bring their rugrats along to the workplace, ostensibly to provide a sneak peek at the Sisyphean, soul-crushing slog of adulthood.
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Mother working from home while children play
Mother working from home while children play

Thursday, April 28th is Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day. As the catchy, Ulysses-length title implies, this annual event invites parents to bring their rugrats along to the workplace, ostensibly to provide a sneak peek at the Sisyphean, soul-crushing slog of adulthood. Like American Idol or Johnny Manziel, this event seemed like a good idea on paper, but in practice quickly devolved into a five-alarm dumpster fire.

Here are some alternatives for realists.

  • Take Our Daughters and Sons to the Home Office to Shriek Over Our Freelance Project Conference Calls Just Like Every Other Day

  • Take Our Daughters and Sons to All Three Benefit-less Jobs We Work as a Single Mom Day
  • Please Take Our Daughters and Sons, Just Until 2:30, I Have Two Deadlines and a Migraine Day
  • Take Our Daughters and Sons to the Work Interview Where We Use Them as a Visual Aid to Explain Our Four-Year Resume Gap Day
  • Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work But Bribe Them Not to Mention They All Had Lice Last Week Day
  • Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work But Give Our Daughters 77% of Lunch to Make an Important Point About Lingering Inequality Day
  • Take Our Daughters and Sons to the Work That Refused to Pay You for Even One Second of Maternity Leave When You Had Them Day
  • Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work and Right Back Home After They Set a Fire in the Supply Closet Day
  • Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work For All 16 Hours of Our Double Shift at Arby's Day* (*In Canada, this is known as Deep Fryer Labour Armistice and is celebrated in July)
  • Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work at the Hip Digital Agency Where No One Else Has Kids and Watch Them All Squirm Day
  • Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work and Hide Them Under Your Desk with Legos and iPhones Just Like You Secretly Do Every Thursday Since the Sitter Flaked Day
  • Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Because There's Inexplicably a Statistically Lower Chance for an Active Shooter Situation In Our Downtown Skyscraper Day
  • It's Your Weekend to Take Our Daughters and Sons, Keith, and Maybe Don't Let Your Weed Dealer Cheezburger Mike Hang Around This Time Day
  • Take Our Daughters and Sons to the Living Room Because Childcare is Too Expensive to Go Back to Work Day
  • Written by Brooke Preston. This post originally appeared on secondcity.com.