For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a talker. It’s ironic, actually, because I consider myself to be an introvert. But I do talk a lot once I feel comfortable in a situation, I let it rip. I will talk your ear off if you let me. I love to talk about feelings, both yours and mine. Sometimes I find that when I share my feelings with you we can commiserate. I find solace in hearing that you’ve been through a similar experience. Other times, I am surprised at your reaction, because you see things from an entirely different perspective that I hadn’t even considered. It’s refreshing to hear that you notice aspects of a situation that I haven’t seen.
It’s important to remember for all of us that we often get stuck in our point of view. Our viewpoint isn’t the only one out there. Human beings are vastly different from each other and we can offer a variety of perspectives to a situation. Our internal difference are helpful in the sense that you might be able to guide me to navigate a circumstance that I could ‘”figure out.”
I find this particularly helpful as someone who has trouble disassociating from my thoughts. When I feel the tendency to ruminate, I make a conscious effort to stop myself. I take a deep breath in, and think about who I could best talk to in that moment. I work best when I am verbalizing my feelings to another person. Even though I find journaling effective, the most important thing to remember is that I work best when speaking to my friends, my therapist or even (at times) an unbiased stranger. Isn’t that funny? But sometimes a stranger who is entirely objective can provide me with a reliable piece of advice on how to handle a conflict or challenge in my life. The reason for this is that this individual can look at the scenario with absolutely objectivity. They don’t know me and they are unfamiliar with the other parties in the situation. Because of these factors, they are better able to provide me with a solid piece of advice on an issue that I am having trouble tackling. I’m not advocating that every stranger has the secrets to your life inside their mind, because that would be inaccurate. I am saying that it’s great to seek advice from a person who isn’t emotionally involved in a real life challenge. What you do with this pearl of wisdom is entirely up to you.
What do you do when you can’t figure out a situation no matter how many people you consult? You look inward and process what is happening to you. Ultimately the onus is on you to navigate your feelings and help yourself feel better. I’m not indicating that you should not reach out to others for help, but remember that it starts with you. You make that decision to reach out for help and that is indicative of you taking care of yourself in an important life changing way.
Expressing your feelings can be challenging - do it anyway
For some people it’s hard to express their feelings. Some people have difficulty with anger or sadness. Despite these challenges, it’s important to push through and express those feelings because ultimately you will feel relief after saying how you feel. If you can’t say it out loud, write it down and read it to someone you feel comfortable with, whether that’s a friend, co-worker, therapist or partner.
You can express yourself and remember, sometimes that’s challenging. But it is completely understandable to feel awkward about revealing feelings to others. However, this is the first step in taking care of yourself and maintaining emotion wellbeing.