I remember the day it really hit me that I was not AT ALL in alignment with my purpose.
I was sitting at my desk in my cozy office, staring at my computer screen thinking, “This is it? This is what I had worked so hard for?”
I felt so unfulfilled even though on paper I had everything that I had thought would make me happy.
I often say, it was like I reached the top of a ladder I had been climbing for years, only to realize it was leaning up against the wrong building.
I think a lot of people can relate to this, and yet often, we don’t give ourselves permission to make changes.
We believe there is a certain plan that we are supposed to follow that will lead to success and happiness, because that’s what other (often well meaning) people will tell us that we should want and should do, and that to want or do anything else would equal failure.
But often doing those things that we think we should do (in order to follow the rules) ends up leading to us feeling like a victim to our own life.
Instead of appreciating the life we’ve created, we end up resenting it and the things we’ve chosen, like our career, relationships, and responsibilities.
We end up with the super common limiting belief that life is hard and sometimes just plain sucks.
Let me fill you in on a little secret. You know those sucky things that are happening? Those challenges? They are not happening TO you, they are happening FOR you. They are actually a gift. Yep, you read that right.
Now, before you get pissed and close this page, let me share why...
They are actually a gift because they are happening to wake you up and give you the OPPORTUNITY — that defining moment — that shakes up your reality and reminds you that YOU are so much more than just a person trying to get through the day so you can go to sleep just to wake up tomorrow and do it all over again.
Do you realize how amazing you are?
If you do, keep reading.
If you don’t, keep reading.
When we are faced with these defining moments, we have two choices:
- First, we can give our power away, react based on what others tell us we are supposed to do, and allow someone else to decide the outcome and trajectory of our lives for us.
- Or, we can decide that we have a choice, we are not a victim, and we are responsible for our own adventure.
I am a fiesty woman. Always have been. And even I have fallen into category #1 at times in my life. We all do. We are human and we want to be approved of.
But at some point we have to decide that is it more important to live on purpose than it is to be approved of.
I have so many clients that have faced hardship. Everything from physical ailments like headaches so bad that they were taking 12 Ibuprofen a day before we began our work together, to spinal surgery that took over a year to heal from, to relationship wake up calls like finding out their partner had been having an affair for many years, to having an abusive spouse.
In each situation, our work together is the same.
To find the silver lining — the gift — that this reality shaking challenge has to offer.
I’m not saying that any of us would ever wish for great challenges, but what I am saying is that when we decide to use our challenges as FUEL to find our purpose and live with intention, everything just makes so much more sense. And it gets a lot easier too.
Now, I don’t only work with people with circumstances of this magnitude. Honestly most people find their way to me because they want to break free from yo-yo dieting so they can feel amazing in their skin (maybe for the first time ever), but I share these examples because I want you to know that no matter what reality shaking challenges you are facing, you are not alone.
In every situation, you can take your power back and DECIDE to be purposeful and choose a fulfilling life.
You CAN have “it all” by your definition of that phrase.
And the truth is, sometimes we need to hit rock bottom before we’re ready to make changes to receive this. And if you are there, or maybe you’re not. Maybe your life is all is good and you just want to take it to the next level. In either case, here are some action steps to take, starting today to will support you in finding your purpose and tapping into your inner badass so you can ROCK your dream life.
How To Find Your Purpose
1. Get Clear
You probably hear people talking about “finding your purpose” all the time, right? At least, I do among the crowds I hang out in!
Everyone wants to know their purpose, or their Big Why, Core Desired Feeling and such. Now, I want to be super clear… this does not have to be some big save the world type purpose. What I mean by “finding your purpose” is to consciously decide what you want for your life.
Journaling is the best way to tap into the wisdom within that will help you discover your purpose.
For me, being in alignment with my purpose means that I wake up in the morning, excited about the day. NOT hitting the snooze button ten times because I’m dreading the day. Can you relate?!
I have two versions of THE question to ask yourself to find your purpose.
Now, don’t just write one sentence and check this off the to-do list as done.
I want you to take some time with it. Write AT LEAST a page. Go DEEP. Let the words flow and don’t filter. You want to get below all the ego should do’s and tap into the core/root of what truly inspires you.
Here are the questions:
- If I were not afraid to fail, I would…
- Wouldn’t it be nice if I could…
For the second question, you may want to write this several times and see what comes out each time, because you may find yourself opening up to various dreams or ideas that you may have even forgotten were exciting to you.
Once you complete this exercise, you are probably going to have some big aha’s!
So what’s next? The second step is probably different than you may think.
2. Practice Infinite Love and Gratitude
Now that you have these aha’s, you don’t have to make any quantum leap changes right this minute.
Don’t quit your job, move across the country, or do anything drastic today!
Just sit with these realizations and continue to do the inner work. Soon you will be inspired to action that will feel so clear, wild horses couldn’t keep you from it. For now, the next step is to fill your heart with gratitude.
Remember Oprah’s ritual of making a list of 5 things she appreciates each night before bed?
Do that. Every night. Create your own ritual of appreciation.
You might feel resistant to this action step because feeling appreciation, when things aren’t the way we want them to be, feels like the last thing we should be doing.
We tend to focus the majority of our attention on that one thing that sucks and barely any attention on the things going well because we think, “Well those things over there are okay, why should I pay attention to them? I need to fix this thing over here!”
This is the opposite of what will help you find your purpose and live the life of your dreams.
As the saying goes, energy flows where attention goes, right? By putting your attention on what you want more of, you are essentially strengthening that muscle of high-vibe emotions. Which is great, because, as another saying goes, “Like attracts like.”
When we are focused on our problems, we create more problems and all we see is problems.
When we focus on what we love about our life, we create more of that. Don’t you notice that when you are open, happy, and pleasant that naturally invites more of these types of circumstances, events, and people?
It makes sense right? If you are a happy, optimistic person do you want to be around negative complaining people? NO! It sucks the life out of you and you run in the opposite direction.
Be that person that everyone wants to be around and you will attract incredible experiences into your life.
3. Consciously Decide To Fill Your Life With Uplifting Things
To take Step 2 even further, consciously choose high-vibe, uplifting people and experiences. Take a stand for yourself and say no if something doesn’t feel right to you. Communicate what you need.
The more you consciously choose the world around you, the more it naturally allows you to live in your purpose, or rather live on purpose.
The more conscious we can be about choosing to make decisions from our power, the easier it is to naturally live in a state that feels fulfilling and inspiring, and if you’re like me, will make you feel excited to jump out of bed in the morning. Because it feels good to matter!
You are no longer a victim to your circumstances, you are a conscious deliberate creator.
As cliche as it sounds, the quote from Joseph Campbell, “Follow your bliss,” is so possible and so true.
We just have to open ourselves up to believing that not only is it possible, but it is possible FOR US too.
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