Tech the Halls With Balls of Folly

I can't believe it's been almost three weeks since my last post. Three weeks of tech hell and the saga continues.

So, where were we?

Oh, right...I decided to take the new laptop to the geek squad to transfer data from my beloved Vicky Vaio, (yes I named her and I love her), onto my shiny new HP Envy. I haven't a clue about the name because my experience to date hasn't been the envy of a soul.

The big box store with the geek squad is over forty minutes away on a good day, but this had to be done. I made an appointment for 11 am the next morning and slept with hope in my heart.


The cute little geek was so friendly he should have been dressed in elf attire this time of year. With a smile on his little face, he told me I would have to leave both computers and they would get to them within a couple of days.


"We have several ahead of you in the queue," he said, turning into the Grinch.

"Why did I have to make an appointment?!"

"We have paperwork you need to fill out..."

"You mean something you could have emailed to me and I could have had it back to you two days ago?"

The Grinch began to sputter.

I went into meltdown mode and ran to the car. I called my husband who said, "Demand to see a manager! This is bullshit!"

I waited for a manager and got a twenty-something geek with the personality of plywood. Not even varnished plywood.

After ten minutes of total bullshit about how backed up they were and, this is our policy and, we didn't know you would want to have this information prior to schlepping forty minutes from your home and leaving us your entire online life for a few days...I went ballistic.

"This is outrageous and the worst customer service I've ever experienced," I screamed, blowing some dandruff off his glasses.

That could have been a lie, but I'll save that story for another day.

I stormed out with no clue what the hell I was going to do next. Then I looked at the gas gauge and knew getting gas would have to be next. I called my husband while filling up.

He told me we would have to write a letter, which I haven't done yet because I've been back in tech hell, but I intend to after the holidays.

The next day we had dinner plans with a few other couples and over a lovely meal, I relayed my tale of woe. Come to find out there's a very good tech repair store just up the road! It helps to ask the locals when you're the newbie. I called him the next day and we took the computers right over.

He seemed very cool and calm about all my drama. That was a good sign. We left the laptops and went Christmas tree shopping. It was a beautiful day and I was very hopeful.

When we returned it got cloudy.

He found a ton of viruses in the BRAND NEW HP! So he wanted to keep both overnight. The nightmare continued.

I went up to get them the next day and he assured me all was well but, I needed to activate McAfee ASAP. My husband has it on his computer and we can share the same account so I wasn't worried.

As I turned on the HP, full of hope, I felt completely lost. It wouldn't let me open in Chrome, which is my preferred browser and has been since God invented the internet. No. It wanted me to use Bing. I was never a fan of Bing, frankly, I preferred Frank. But, I couldn't get to anything familiar in the shiny new box.

I went back and opened Vicky up and hugged her tight. She knew what I wanted and tried to give it to me but she's old and I've been feeling old, too. We cried together and I put both computers away.

The next morning I took them both back to the local tech store and explained my confusion. Then begged him to help me understand the new computer and keep Vicky alive just in case. He complied.

I still have to deal with Windows 10 and other programs, but I'm taking it slow and trying not to feel like an old fart.

Maybe there will be a Christmas Miracle and I'll walk out of the fog and a little angel will tell me I've always had the power to go home again. Wait, that was the good witch, wasn't it?

Typed on my Vicky Vaio.

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