The Senior Year Identity Crisis

If I have learned anything from my three (almost four!) years of high school, it is that people are constantly searching for identity. As a whole, the human race longs to feel validated, like when they die, their memory will live on for generations.

I see this all the time in my life. I wear makeup, curl my hair and pick out coordinating outfits to feel "pretty." I carry big books, take AP classes and study for my SAT so I feel "smart." I walk with my head held high and my heart in the sky, successfully putting on a mask for my family, friends and peers.

And you know what? I'm pretty sick and tired of it.

We all long to be remembered, to one day become inducted in the hall of greatness, but for me, I want to be known for more than what I have done. I want to be known as the girl who loved deeply, who took risks, which might not have changed the world, but at least changed someone's life for the better. I don't want to be known for what I have, but what I gave to someone in need. I long to give hope to the oppressed, love the unlovable and provide tangible help for the voiceless.

If I have AP classes, five internships, my dream job and a nonprofit that changes the world, but have not love, I am nothing. I want to get on my hands and feet, humbled and ready to serve anyone in need. One of my biggest role models, Mother Theresa, who so wonderfully served the people in India, once called America the poorest country in the world because they suffer from the poverty of loneliness. I want to befriend the people who have been outcasted their whole life, to go beyond the limits of my comfort zone and to live life adventurously.

Senior year is quickly approaching, and the battle for identities will once again start. No longer do I aim to be voted "Most Likely to be Successful" or "Best Hair" in the yearbook. I am not perfect, nor do I ever intend to be. I'm a total klutz, a mess of ramblings, clichés and aspirations. I'm sometimes fashion-challenged, and there are days where I wonder where my life is headed. But let me assure you this -- a journey walked in love has no fear of the destination, for perfect love drives out fear. Who knows where I will end up, but I know that with a heart determined to love others, that my story will be a good one.

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