Teetering on Trump's Loser List? Rejoice!

Oh, the kitchy campiness of some lists.

Take "Nixon's Enemies List." "The official purpose as described by the White House Counsel's Office was to 'screw' Nixon's enemies by manipulating grant availability, federal contracts, litigation, prosecution," and other goodies.

Who made the list? Bella Abzug, Bill Cosby, Jane Fonda, Edward Kennedy, Allard Lowenstein, Paul Newman, Pierre Salinger, Howard Stein and even my cousin Larry.

Newsman Daniel Schorr and Paul Newman regaled in their place on "the list," touting it as "their greatest accomplishment."

"Your cousin Larry made Nixon's enemy list," one relative after another informed me. Some were proud, other ashamed, and "Larry who?" became the new Switzerland.

I thought it was the coolest thing that he'd done since he'd bought me an over-stuffed shaggy dog to sit on in front of the TV.

The New York Times included his pride in this obscure honor in his obit.

How times have changed... or have they?

While Nixon's neat little "no no" list was written as an original and sequel, then exquisitely alphabetized, Trump's tyrannical tirade of his very own losers has become a must have in the making, gaming at glamming into a new "in" list.

Is wearing the scarlet "L" the new status symbol?

A wise publicist or brand magician might spirit it into "the" list to be on.

Gather ye losers while ye may.

Who's made the Trump "loser" list to date?

Cher. "She is an average talent who is out of touch with reality. Like Rosie O'Donnell, a total loser."

And we wonder why some foreign countries don't welcome him in?

Diplomacy at its most esoteric.

"Losers such as George Will and Rosie use me to get publicity for themselves."

Who knew?

Some of Trump's losers even come with an adjective, at no additional cost.

Miss USA Contestant, Sheena Monnin is "a disgruntled loser."

The list loops on, but why spoil the party?

Perhaps a string of salacious alliterative adjectives strung together in harmonic vulgarity might trump all. Or... an onomatopoeia that smacks of "loser" with a sting.

Imagine. an SAT stumper: Trump is to loser as... (Metaphor lovers, go wild!)

Think of the bumper stickers. "Who do I have to sleep with to get on Trump's loser list?"

Publicists could offer group rates for inking their client into loser status.

The possibilities swarm and undulate.

How to be engraved on Trump's "losers" list?

Only winners need apply.