Ten Commandments for the College Freshman

This is your mother talking...

1. Thou shalt not squander thy time wondering if the Admissions Department made a mistake.

2. Thou shalt not join any band, club, team, or festival that thou might otherwise find ridiculous just because people are saying thou shouldst try new things.

3. Thou shalt not hook up with any person who is in any way not intending to be hooking up with you.

4. Thou shalt not wallow in pools of self-doubt, nor should thou avoidest taking the occasional humble dip into those waters.

5. Remember the laundry day, to keep it holy.

6. Thou shalt not expect college grading, or life in general, to be fair.

7. Thou shalt not think anyone is watching, but should learn to trust the joys of thine own heart.

8. Thou shalt call home from time to time, but not expect to find thy parents ever available at a moment's notice because, like, we have our lives too.

9. Thou shalt not become so politically correct that thou ceaseth to speak for fear of being smote.

10. Thou shalt not change. Except that thou groweth, learneth, and getteth even more like thyself.