Ten juicy life lessons

Introductions to listicles bore me to snores. Here's some things I have learned over the last year or so. If I can't be an inspiration, I can always be a horrible warning. Enjoy!

1. If you have enough money, you can make anything happen.
Even the most ridiculous joke of all time will become reality if someone is willing to hurl enough money at it. Some of the biggest bullies in the world are loaded and "donations" are just socially acceptable "bribes." This is rife in politics and beyond, giving us some pretty unbelievable outcomes of late. War is the single largest money spinner in the whole wide world. Madness. However, one thing that you just can't buy is integrity.

2. Trust is a one-time gift.
As my friend Greg says, "It's only the people close to you who'll really screw you. They're the only ones you will ever allow." This year I had to suck on the fact that some of the most trusted people I know were not quite made of the stock I had hoped. Shrug, move on. Be trustworthy.

3. It's easier to start something new than fix something antiquated.
Far out, change management is for people who like to pull their fingernails out super slowly. Then dip them in bourbon. Modernising can be an extremely slow and difficult task but automating manual processes is a no brainer. Go automated, scale up. Forge forward. It will be painful but totally worth it.

4. Jealousy sucks.
If you catch yourself thinking bad thoughts about someone else's success, give yourself a swift uppercut. And then another. Jealousy is a perfectly natural emotion. Use it to drive your own success, not the downfall of others. Look at the way someone has kicked ass and try to define what it is that works so well. Don't pull the rug out from under the competition. Learn from their successes and do it even better. No one lies on their death bed and says, "I'm so proud of all those people I destroyed when I was jealous."

5. Do more of what makes your heart sing.
The ocean makes me happy. I moved to the beach a year ago and I am so glad I did. I had most of my interviews and meetings with my toes in the sand and face in the sunshine. I had some of my loneliest nights looking at the gentle ocean. The ocean is my salve. Seek out your salve and make it part of your every day, then the hardest parts of life won't drive you up the freaking wall as much.

6. I am a terrible ass kisser.
I've learned over and over again that an outstanding performance is meaningless if you do not kiss the right asses. If your authenticity meter won't let you schmooze people who just don't deserve your respect, present thy head for chopping off. It's the way of the world. Choppety-chop! On the flipside, never be that person who needs to have their ass kissed to feel special and important, validated and honoured. Earn respect, do good but don't expect the world to worship at the altar of you.

7. You're no good to anyone when you're sick and tired.
For the first time in about a decade, I put my health and wellbeing before anything else. Boy, did it pay off. I haven't felt this well and strong since I was 18. I could hurl my full self at all the challenges of the last year without winding up exhausted or unhappy. That's probably my single most important achievement of late. #fistpump

8. Make sure FUN has a key place in your strategic thinking and everyday life.
When you convert the mundane to fun, your life and work are so much better. Time flies when you're having fun. Staff are loyal, your kids less grumpy. Gamify boring tasks wherever possible and choose to work with good people who laugh at your jokes. I'm sure I have lots more wrinkles from laughing so hard in over the last year. I think I may have disturbed the neighbours. There was much fun to be had, even when the going got tough and the news was crap.

9. Life is all about energy and where you focus it.
Don't spend any of your precious energy on the haters and time wasters. Accept that there is a five percent dickhead rate wherever you go and keep moving forward. Apply your energy and focus to the good people, the good stuff, the best work. You have exactly one life to do every single thing you will ever do. Don't waste it on dud people, drama queens and overthinking. On the flip side, don't spend too much attention and energy on accolades and adoration. High fives, keep pedalling. You have much more significant things still to do. The best is yet to come and babe, won't it be fine?

10. The best moments in life are the ones you can't tell anyone about.
Can't really elaborate, can I? Wink, wink. May your year ahead be sprinkled with them.