If you clicked on this article to find something saucy... you won't be disappointed! Because the most important thing you can do for your kids is love your man. And we mean LOVE. We mean look up to him, build him up in your children's eyes and let them see love modeled in your relationship. They will not see it anywhere else. They are more likely to experience the exact opposite in the world, their friends' homes and lives, everywhere really. Love is hard to find and hard work to keep... so let's get started:
1) Tell him he is awesome. He needs to hear it. He needs you to look into his eyes and tell him that he is good at his job, a great friend and a wonderful husband or partner and mean it. Find three things that you absolutely love about him and tell him... again and again.
2) Really believe that he is awesome. No-one is perfect. None of us are without a lazy, irritating habit or a loud snore or the tendency to open windows and let him close them. We all have our problems. Look for the good in him and be absolutely convinced that the good outweighs the bad.
3) Don't judge him. When kids arrive, many mothers put their husbands off childcare instantly with these six words: "that's not how you do it!". Let him do it his way. It is probably not perfect - but neither is yours, and wouldn't you rather have him change a nappy by hook or by crook than have to do them all yourself?
4) Celebrate who he is. Many of us date and marry with the intention of "saving" or "changing" or "enhancing" our men... don't. Accept him for who he is - just in case he doesn't change.
5) Believe in who he is to become. The thing is, however, that he will change. Your task is to support him and encourage him as he grows... not to point out all the bad things about him so that he will eventually change into the man you would like him to be. That person does not exist. Your man does - smelly socks and all. So just love him and keep loving him as he grows into himself - there is such a beauty in lovingly walking with some-one through life in this way.
6) Find his work interesting. Even if you don't. Find a question to ask - and really listen to the answer. It's amazing how much more interesting something (anything) becomes the more you learn about it...
7) Love, or put up with, his friends. They are a part of him. Hopefully you can get on well with their wives and girlfriends - if you can, you have hit gold!
8) Look good for him. My grandmother used to always tell me to put fresh lipstick on before my husband came home. The only problem is that I never wear lipstick and I worked as hard as he did at the time so I would often be the one to come in after him. Hmmm... I am not talking about a 50's Home Economics Textbook here. I am talking about staying in shape so that you are fit and healthy and he is proud to look at you and know you are his. It's important to him.
9) Lean on him. We had children seventeen months apart and it has not been easy. I am not one of those super-mums who are out and about with their newborn in week two. Not me. Nope. It took us three months to get back to church after Sam... and longer after Jonno. I could not have scraped myself off the floor without my husband on many days. So this one was easy for me. But it does pay off - even if you are a super mum and have to fake it a little...
10) You know exactly what number ten is... Find a way to do it for fun with him, as often as you can scrape together the energy, and you're golden. It's worth it! He needs it more than he will ever let on.
We hope you liked these tips and that they serve you well... we would love to hear from you so please do leave us a comment with your results... so to speak ;)
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