Many people have a love-hate relationship with tequila.
The love stems from memories of carefree times spent sipping palomas or margaritas ― or downing the agave drink straight with a bit of salt and a lime wedge. The hate tends to have something to do with the disastrous way certain tequila-fueled nights unfolded (and the painful next-day hangovers).
In honor of National Tequila Day, here are 27 funny tweets about this potent potable.
Tequila is made from a plant so you could say I've been vegan so far this weekend
— EnvyDaTropic™ (@envydatropic) May 24, 2015
Me: I'm shy
— moody monday (@mdob11) May 26, 2015
Tequila: Not anymore
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
— Dillon Brelsford (@dpbrelsford) August 22, 2018
There is not enough tequila in the world to sit next to a couple that feeds each other, but here we are.
— Stabbatha Christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) December 16, 2018
This tequila tastes like my ex wants me to text her.
— Spanky McDutcherson 🔸 (@thatdutchperson) April 12, 2013
You know who doesn't care if I've showered and put on so-called real clothes? Tequila.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) March 24, 2017
Me, “Two tickets to paradise, please.”
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) December 12, 2018
Guy, “Ma’am, this is a liquor store not a travel agency.”
Me, “Okay. Two bottles of tequila then, thank you.”
Guy, “Have a nice trip!”
I mean, technically, tequila is vegetable juice.....
— Unfiltered Mama (@UnfilteredMama) July 7, 2017
Liquor before beer, you’re in the clear. Tequila before bourbon, I CAN’T FEEL MY NOSE DO YOU WANNA ORDER A PIZZA HEY DO YOU THINK RYAN GOSLING WATCHES GAME OF THRONES I SINCERELY LOVE KIT KATS
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) April 13, 2018
Tequila mixed with Gatorade is still a margarita, right?
— Steve Olivas (@steveolivas) June 23, 2019
therapist: and what do we do when we feel sad?
— 💃🏽 (@aleidagoytia) July 17, 2019
Me: Tequila shots.
Therapist: no
Tequila is my scapegoat.
— Clanopath (@Clanopath) June 18, 2014
*singing along to the radio*
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) April 22, 2019
Kids in the backseat: 🎶WHEN I TASTE TEQUILA🎶
My wife & I in the front seat: 😳😳
moose turned 3 today so to celebrate 21 in dog years I got him a shot of tequila pic.twitter.com/hOKdxAvcxg
— izzy (@danisnobunk) April 7, 2018
this girl i know has a reminder in her phone that says “you are the tequila” and I asked her what it meant and she said “i’m the tequila, not the chaser, I deserve to be chased” and wow that is beautiful
— lib (@libberrtttyy) June 11, 2018
They need to put warning labels on tequila that say "Danger: do not mix with midlife crisis."
— 〰 Just Linda 〰 (@LindaInDisguise) June 12, 2015
Me since New Years #Tequila pic.twitter.com/fs9azZ9DZU
— Ashton Irwin (@Ashton5SOS) January 11, 2017
At Mexican restaurant, 6yo saw a sign: "This tequila tastes like I'm not going to work in the morning" and I had to do so much explaining.
— Celeste Ng (@pronounced_ing) June 4, 2017
I'm going to remember this night forever!!!
— EnvyDaTropic™ (@envydatropic) December 5, 2015
Tequila - You sure about that?
This tequila tastes like you'll all be seeing me doing naked cartwheels in a little bit.
— Bohemian Rhaptitties (@nonchalantnacho) November 17, 2018
If you don't think that drinking tequila makes a man invincible, then explain ordering Taco Bell at three in the morning.
— Ham on Wry (@realHamOnWry) December 15, 2015
Dude in an elf suit at this liquor store just loaded 6 big bottles of Tito’s tequila into his cart & I am seriously regretting going to whatever boring Christmas Eve party I’m about to go to & not to his.
— Andy H. (@AndyAsAdjective) December 24, 2017
"LEAVE THE DOG'S ASS ALONE," and other reasons why I'm ready to do tequila shooters by 3pm.
— Valerie (@ValeeGrrl) March 11, 2017
If you ever catch me dancing on a treadmill at the gym, it can only mean one thing: Hall & Oates, baby!
— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 23, 2017
I'm kidding.
It's tequila.
By the way, the popular myth that tequila doesn’t give you a hangover has just been disproven. By me.
— Susan Orlean (@susanorlean) February 16, 2019
Kid: Tell me a story, Daddy
— The Dad (@thedad) September 9, 2018
Me: Alright, honey. *opens Instagram* This story is called "Aunt Pam Does Tequila Shots with Two Strange Princes"
A poem about tequila:
— Sara Hoffman (@sarahofff) August 23, 2015
why
did i
do
what i just did
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