POLITICS

Texas Senator Cornyn Backs Away From Wild-West Themed Campaign Video

"My staff convinced me it was a good idea...Maybe I need a new staff."

Those words were spoken by Texas Senator John Cornyn after his staff produced the attached video. Intended as an introduction to the Republican Party of Texas state convention, the video, featuring awesomely overwrought voice overs and the most stoned gospel chorus ever assembled, basically depicts Cornyn as a dull-witted rodeo clown who never descends from his horse or stops dressing like Jon Voight in Midnight Cowboy.

The Austin-American Statesman finds Cornyn gamely attempting to defend the terrible video, saying, "It's actually an attempt to bring a little humor to a subject I take very seriously. We're going to have to think differently this year, work smarter and harder, and bury the 'same-ole, same-ole' politics of the past." By which he means: do everything in super, super, super, super slow-motion, apparently.