January 8, 2025
Dear, President Trump:
On behalf of 95% of the population, I wanted to take a minute and thank you for everything you’ve done to make America great again. For now, in the year 2025, it truly is.
Since that fateful day all those years ago, when you and your legion of sycophants were removed from power, we’ve come together stronger than ever. Unfortunately, it took an earth-shattering, almost nation-destroying disease such as yourself to wake us from our slumber, but, we’re awake now. Our eyes are as open as they’ve ever been, and they’re not shutting anytime soon. And we have you to thank for it.
Sure, there will always be those who seek to discriminate and profit off the misery of others, but we’ve managed to push those cockroaches back under the floor boards where they belong - a tiny sub-sect of our great nation. It took a lot of soul-searching, and law changing, but, in the end, common sense and decency prevailed. None of this would have been possible, at least not this fast, without you. So, again, thank you.
We have solar-powered homes, hydro-electric cars, health care for all, teachers making more than congressmen, fracking is no longer an issue due to our non-dependency on oil, athletes are free to kneel at the opening of a sporting event, and that silly border wall is as faint a memory as silent movies.
Of course, this is a pipe dream at the moment. But it doesn’t have to be. For, like it or not, there will come a day when, like a slate wiped clean or a fever washed away, you are no longer in control. There will come a day when the president tweets “Merry Christmas, everyone” and it won’t be followed by “Except you liberal douchebags!” There will come a day when that unbelievably liberating moment arrives that sees a new body of governance stepping forth to replace this joke of administration, to wake us from this nightmare, and to reclaim what was lost. First and foremost, our dignity.
Be it impeachment, prison, resignation, whatever. Sooner or later (hopefully sooner), just like the Bush/Cheney fiasco, there will come a day when Trump Inc., and all that it stands for, will no longer reign supreme over the day to day runnings of the greatest nation on earth. But, more importantly, there will come a day when the ideology you represent is as distant and bewildering to the next generation as a star in the Andromeda galaxy.
For, as sad as it is to have allowed such an incompetent fool to take up residence in the highest office in the land, let it not be for naught. Let us all promise ourselves, and each other, to do our best to heal and move forward in the wake of such divisive, acidic leadership. Let us do our best to make sure this country never sees the likes of a man such as you, for all time. Let us do our best to abolish centuries old, outdated - and dangerous- rules, i.e., the electoral college, which, when all is said and done, is the main reason you are where you are, even after losing the election.
Let us do our very best to make sure we elect those who can actually lead. Let us do our best to make sure those elected believe everyone, no matter race, creed, or color, should be treated equal, and not support those who believe the only way forward is on the backs of the less fortunate. Let us do our best to make sure the men - and women - who hold the highest offices in the land are held to a higher standard not lower, and not tolerate or enable, for one second, another pathetic side show like the one we’re currently enduring. Those who do will face immediate career-ending, life-changing consequences.
Let us believe, and teach, that when one of us succeeds, we all succeed, and be happy about it. Let us embrace the words of President Kennedy and ask what we can do for our country, as opposed to the other way around. For, only when we, as individuals, adopt the mentality to let someone else go first, do we win as a nation.
Most importantly, let us not be so selfish and so self-absorbed, thinking “someone else will do it,” and these things will just “work themselves out.” We now see exactly what happens when we’re asleep at the wheel.
And, for God’s sake, let us get rid of that ‘every kid gets a trophy’ crap.