Holidays have been looking different in the age of the COVID-19 pandemic, from Zoom Mother’s Day brunches to trick-or-treat candy chutes on Halloween.
Naturally, Thanksgiving is getting a similar treatment. The U.S. has been breaking coronavirus case count records, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is advising against unnecessary travel and gathering with people outside your household.
Still, the funny folks of Twitter have found humor in the reality of Turkey Day in 2020. We’ve rounded up 33 funny and honest tweets that sum up Thanksgiving this year.
inspirational holiday pandemic tweet: if you make a pie good enough this November, you don't need Thanksgiving dinner guests. fuck em. more pie for you
— Beth (@bourgeoisalien) November 6, 2020
Please stay home for Thanksgiving so we can all be thankful our family is still alive to be disappointed in us next year.
— Gennefer WEAR A MASK Gross (@Gennefer) November 13, 2020
If you don’t start your Thanksgiving Zoom invites with “You are covidly invited” I don’t even know what you’re doing.
— Kara Kinney Cartwright (@dbaKaraKC) November 17, 2020
NY TIMES: here's 52 appetizer recipes for your Thanksgiving celebration!
— mechanical turkey (@alicegoldfuss) October 28, 2020
ME, STILL ISOLATING IN A PANDEMIC: pic.twitter.com/wdLSzd00jY
I have found my personal hell and it is an email from the in-laws, subject: Zoom Thanksgiving activity sign-ups.
— 🥴steph🥴 (@eff_yeah_steph) November 14, 2020
You want a traditional thanksgiving?
— Dave Ween (@pittdave13) November 12, 2020
The CDC recommends you eat outside like a god damn pilgrim this year
We’re doing a Zoom Thanksgiving, in part because of the virus but also so we can mute uncle Bob’s annual racist rant.
— The Untastic Mr. Fitz (@UnFitz) November 9, 2020
2019: Do the kids really need THREE days off for Thanksgiving break?
— Ramblin Mama (@ramblinma) November 17, 2020
2020: PLEASE GIVE US THE REST OF THE YEAR OFF YOU’RE RIGHT TEACHING IS BULLSHIT
"We're only getting together for Thanksgiving" is 2020's answer to "we'll cover more ground if we split up" or "I'll go reset the breakers in the basement by myself."
— Howard Tayler (@howardtayler) November 12, 2020
Oh no please don’t take Thanksgiving away from us, it’s our only chance to eat bad food that takes forever to cook and watch the Cowboys play bad football and argue with family members over whether Democrats are baby-eating demons
— Ken Tremendous (@KenTremendous) November 12, 2020
This thanksgiving is gonna be extra special cuz Americans can spread disease to each other like in the original
— I’m tellin ya (@BabancourtPapi) November 11, 2020
we did it guys, we cancelled the toxicity that is thanksgiving
— Atsuko Okatsuka (@AtsukoComedy) November 16, 2020
we couldn’t have done it without your recklessness
If you can't spend this Thanksgiving with your family, it's comforting to know they're only one phone call away from ruining it
— Eliza Bayne (@ElizaBayne) November 18, 2020
I feel like Thanksgiving is going to be a piece of cake this year. I’ve been getting my stomach prepared since March. Overeating. Napping. Eating again. Let’s go Thanksgiving. I’m dominating you this year. #2020
— Lauren Alaina (@Lauren_Alaina) November 20, 2020
i don't need to celebrate thanksgiving this year because i've already spent every day of 2020 arguing about politics with my family and then falling asleep after eating too much
— Funny Or Die (@funnyordie) November 12, 2020
Talked my parents into canceling their thanksgiving plans 🧡 keep believing in yourselves, folks and you too can nag your family into safety.
— Sophia Benoit (@1followernodad) November 15, 2020
A good line for trying to get out of Thanksgiving dinner is “why do you want to murder me?”
— Allana Harkin (@AllanaHarkin) November 18, 2020
Remember, you need to start quarantining TODAY for Thanksgiving, and then keep quarantining, and then not go.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) November 17, 2020
“We should cancel Thanksgiving this year.” - turkeys
— Quinn Sutherland (@ReelQuinn) November 18, 2020
Had a stress dream last night where I traveled home (16 hours) for thanksgiving because my mom promised me it would be very small and locked down then when I arrived she was like “Come on! We have reservations at Ruby Tuesdays. I know you love the salad bar.”
— Samantha Ruddy (@samlymatters) November 19, 2020
Planning my Thanksgiving 2020 menu, so far it’s just canned cranberry jello shots
— Natevember ⛰☕️ 🧙♂️ (@perlhack) November 12, 2020
Why are white people even traveling for thanksgiving. Imagine risking your life for some dry ass turkey.
— Marcella Arguello (@marcellacomedy) November 14, 2020
My family has decided to not do Thanksgiving this year. Is this Christmas? It feels like Christmas.
— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 17, 2020
If you’re on the fence about traveling to eat pie and dry meat & breathe on your family, consider the fact that in-person Thanksgiving celebrations are going to be more asshole-heavy than ever this year. Would you endanger your own health in order to go to a bar on Jerk Night?
— Erin 🎃GrudgePAC🎃 Ryan (@morninggloria) November 15, 2020
The best part about a socially distanced Thanksgiving, is not having to force down seconds of your Grandma's creepy "surprise jello."
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) October 19, 2020
Just as we're worrying about how to say safe during a pandemic Thanksgiving, I get a press release reminding us how to avoid cooking fires. pic.twitter.com/YJgwOJuexN
— Valerie Schremp Hahn 📰 (@valeriehahn) November 17, 2020
Is “gobble me swallow me” a good caption to use on thanksgiving??
— just carrie (@carriejjeffries) September 6, 2020
The bad part about not having a big Thanksgiving dinner this year is that I was looking forward to taking everyone's portion of cranberry sauce since no one likes it as much as I do.
— Morgan Jerkins (@MorganJerkins) November 9, 2020
my solo pandemic Thanksgiving plans are:
— mechanical turkey (@alicegoldfuss) October 28, 2020
- snacks I like
- turkey legs
- stuffing baked in a muffin tin
- biscuits
- gravy
- veggie side
- grocery store pie, half
to last me 3-4 days
We can’t have large family gatherings for Thanksgiving but the US isn’t missing out on that drunk uncle who won’t leave the party.
— Jessica Watson (@JessBWatson) November 6, 2020
It's 2020. It's been a hard year for the young ones, so I'm giving my kids their dream Thanksgiving Dinner... Mac n cheese and bread.
— Scary Mommy (@ScaryMommy) November 15, 2020
Not only am I not traveling on Thanksgiving, but I’m probably just ordering pizza.
— stacia l. brown (@slb79) November 16, 2020
let’s just all agree to officially end the year the day after thanksgiving and call it a day, eh?
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) November 16, 2020
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