Thanksgiving is always delicious, but sometimes also unexpectedly enlightening. It's the day that you realize the cousin you always spent every summer with actually has absolutely nothing in common with you. The meal you finally understand just how tipsy grandma can get. More importantly, this holiday reveals your true food personality. This is the one holiday that's really all about eating, and we Americans take it very seriously -- especially those of us who fast the whole day before the feast so we can gorge ourselves on the best parts of dinner.
So, what's the one Thanksgiving dish that you always save room for seconds for? The dish you secretly keep a watchful eye on to make sure no one takes too much of reveals a lot about you. Friends and family, this Thanksgiving think long and hard before you decide which food item is your favorite. It could just determine the flavor of the rest of your life.
Mashed Potatoes: "The Life Of The Party"
Well, look at you. You are so popular. When you're around, everyone talks about you. When you're gone, people feel sad -- and hungry? Could there be a Thanksgiving party without you? Well maybe, but you're pretty sure it would suck. You're the glue that holds everyone together, and because of that, people are willing to work ridiculously hard to make sure you're just right.
Sweet Potato Casserole: "The Indecisive One"
You're the mashed potato's enigmatic, eccentric sibling. You can't make decisions, and because of that, you insist on having things two different ways at the same time. Savory or sweet? Screw that, you want both!
Pumpkin or Pecan Pie: "The Overly Nice One"
You clearly enjoy the sweeter side of life, but you understand that sometimes you have to wait to find it. You don't waste valuable stomach space on meat or savory sides, which makes people around you question your sanity. You are a dear, and you're so nice that people don't blame you for holding out for that perfect thing to satisfy, but that won't stop grandma from asking why you're not married yet. And don't let anyone take advantage of your kindness -- your brother is eyeing that last slice of pie.
Cranberry Sauce: "The Perfectionist"
It's hard for people like you at these meals. There are so many moving parts and people contributing that you just know that something is always bound to be screwed up. So why bother having to deal with the flaws of the big ticket items when you can focus on the perfect tangy bliss that goes well with everything? How strongly you dislike the canned stuff determines just how serious you are about your cranberry sauce.
Turkey: "The Attention Whore"
You certainly know how to command a presence, which might make others jealous. Sure, you're gorgeous and filled with great stories and bits of knowledge, but depth has never been your strong suit. People are excited when you show up, because you're the guest of honor (right?), but when the house starts to fill up, you feel your novelty wearing off. Before your insecurities take over, however, someone will remind you that you make for great leftovers. Bravo.
Dinner Rolls: "The Compassionate One"
You are the most compassionate person in the world. Do you know why? Because you give attention to the one thing that seems to never get any love at all. Who appreciates a measly dinner roll at the grand feast that is Thanksgiving? Only the nicest and most caring person there is, that's who.
...but if they are these Pillsbury crescent rolls we totally understand your decision.
Brussels Sprouts/Green Beans: "The Over-Thinker"
You are kind of a worrywart and maybe a little too obsessed with your health. Vegetables are great for you and all, but just look what you're surrounded by. Did you see what they did to the mashed potatoes? Live a little bit! Nobody is judging you for what you put on your plate, that is unless it's a whole ton of Brussels sprouts or green beans. We're sure you're a nice person, but stop worrying about what other people think, especially on Thanksgiving.
Gravy: "The Addict"
Seriously, you never seem to get enough. You always want more. All the sides in the world wouldn't mean a thing if they weren't covered in rich, delicious gravy. You want it all and you'll do anything it takes to get it. Yes, everything does taste better with gravy, but remember that your actions have consequences. Go easy with the gravy ladle, lest you find yourself in a premature food coma.
Macaroni & Cheese: "The Untraditional One"
Well, you definitely march to the beat of your own drum. Do you eat mac and cheese every day of the year, and today just happens to be Thanksgiving? Either way, you won't let other people's confusion stop you from enjoying the pure deliciousness that is cheese and pasta. You don't care that they think it's weird you consider this a Thanksgiving Day dish. This is America; you can do whatever you want. Screw the mashed potatoes, mac and cheese and you are in it for the long haul.
Alcohol: "The Inappropriate One"
For you, Thanksgiving is more of an obligation than a celebration. Are you stuck with your in-laws and their extended families? Do you not really get along with your parents or siblings? If so, you'll understandably turn to alcohol to get through these trying times. Either that, or you've never had a real Thanksgiving Dinner, and a bottle of wine is more memorable than whatever you're eating.
Stuffing: "The Most Likable One"
You are an amazing, beautiful specimen of the human race, capable of realizing that Thanksgiving comes but once a year and stuffing is the reason for the freaking season. Sure, you might not be the prettiest or the most outspoken, but you win at life and everybody knows it.
The Late-Night Sandwich: "The Innovator"
You're always thinking outside of the box and you're the person people look to for big ideas. I mean, look at what you've done: You've taken all of the best Thanksgiving foods and merged them into one amazing sandwich. You also play a mean long game. You sat there patiently and saved your appetite throughout dinner until 10 p.m. just so you could enjoy this glorious moment. Or you've just figured out how to access the elusive second stomach. Either way, as you bite into this magnificent creation, you laugh at the rest of the fools in your family. You know the truth: Slow and steady always wins the race.