COMEDY

5 Thanksgiving Recipes To Poison Your Uncle Rick

Make the rest of your holiday season Rickless.

What would Thanksgiving be without half-witted opinions, unwelcome football commentary and foghorn-level burps? There's only one way to find out. 

(Decoded: you need to poison Uncle Rick.)

Check out these deliciously fatal Thanksgiving dishes. They'll have the man who calls himself "Sticky Ricky" reaching for seconds as he scream-argues with you about politics and religion ... for the last time.

  • "Specifically For Rick" Cranberry Sauce
    12 oz&nbsp;cranberries<br>3/4 cup sugar<br>1 tsp grated lemon zest<br>1 cup water<br>0.2 tsp&nbsp;dimethylmercury
    Rocketroom
    12 oz cranberries
    3/4 cup sugar
    1 tsp grated lemon zest
    1 cup water
    0.2 tsp dimethylmercury
  • "Only Made Enough For Rick" Gravy
    1/4 cup turkey fat<br>1/4 cup flour<br>1 cup pan drippings<br>1-2 cups broth<br>1 whatever Rick is most deathly allergic to
    Matthew Mead/AP
    1/4 cup turkey fat
    1/4 cup flour
    1 cup pan drippings
    1-2 cups broth
    1 whatever Rick is most deathly allergic to
  • "Pass 'Em Down To Rick" Mashed Potatoes
    1.5&nbsp;lbs russet potatoes<br>1 cup whole milk<br>2 tsp salted butter<br>3 highly&nbsp;venomous, live Philippine cobras
    Inga Nielsen
    1.5 lbs russet potatoes
    1 cup whole milk
    2 tsp salted butter
    3 highly venomous, live Philippine cobras
  • "What An Interesting Opinion You Have On The Syrian Refugee Crisis, Rick, Try Some" Stuffing
    1/4 tsp drain cleaner<br>1/4 tsp&nbsp;bleach<br>some unmarked pills from medicine cabinet<br>1/8 tsp nails<br>1/2 tsp tiny&nb
    Aimee Herring
    1/4 tsp drain cleaner
    1/4 tsp bleach
    some unmarked pills from medicine cabinet
    1/8 tsp nails
    1/2 tsp tiny bombs
    9,000 fire ants
    15 cups of bread cubes
  • "Die Rick" Yam
    No need to add anything. Yam is lethal if swallowed already.
    Liza McCorkle
    No need to add anything. Yam is lethal if swallowed already.

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