5 Thanksgiving Recipes To Poison Your Uncle Rick

Make the rest of your holiday season Rickless.

What would Thanksgiving be without half-witted opinions, unwelcome football commentary and foghorn-level burps? There's only one way to find out.

(Decoded: you need to poison Uncle Rick.)

Check out these deliciously fatal Thanksgiving dishes. They'll have the man who calls himself "Sticky Ricky" reaching for seconds as he scream-argues with you about politics and religion ... for the last time.

"Specifically For Rick" Cranberry Sauce
Rocketroom
12 oz cranberries
3/4 cup sugar
1 tsp grated lemon zest
1 cup water
0.2 tsp dimethylmercury
"Only Made Enough For Rick" Gravy
Matthew Mead/AP
1/4 cup turkey fat
1/4 cup flour
1 cup pan drippings
1-2 cups broth
1 whatever Rick is most deathly allergic to
"Pass 'Em Down To Rick" Mashed Potatoes
Inga Nielsen
1.5 lbs russet potatoes
1 cup whole milk
2 tsp salted butter
3 highly venomous, live Philippine cobras
"What An Interesting Opinion You Have On The Syrian Refugee Crisis, Rick, Try Some" Stuffing
Aimee Herring
1/4 tsp drain cleaner
1/4 tsp bleach
some unmarked pills from medicine cabinet
1/8 tsp nails
1/2 tsp tiny bombs
9,000 fire ants
15 cups of bread cubes
"Die Rick" Yam
Liza McCorkle
No need to add anything. Yam is lethal if swallowed already.

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