That's What They Said

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I've recently freelanced as a quote historian to determine the origins of several famous phrases. Below lie the true story behind the cliches.

- Bros before hoes... said the gay frat boy.

- There's no love like a mother's love... said Oedipus (now he'd say, "I love my mom... as a friend.")

- I'm not religious, I'm more spiritual... said the ineffective priest

- It's not the number of breaths we take, but the number of moments that take our breath away... said the nervous asthmatic.

- Dance like no one's watching... said the unemployed ballerina.

- Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars... said the unconfident NASA scientist.

- God doesn't give you anything you can't handle... said the Devil.

- When there's a will there's a way... said Will.

- Once you go black, you don't go back... said the recently blinded man.

- Real niggas don't die, they multiply... said Shakespeare (I know, right?)

Bonus Advice:

- If you love someone, let them go... unless they're in prison for murder, then they should probably stay in there.