If you want to completely overhaul your life, just follow these ten magic steps.
No, wait!
I keep seeing articles like that. You know, eight or nine or eleven tips that will completely transform you from loser to winner, from fat to thin, from poor to rich. Whatever.
If only it were that easy. I gave a keynote last week and was stopped by someone who told me that what I really needed to do was give 10 steps to transition into another profession for those who don't even know what they want to do.
Now, I am sure somebody will happily provide such a list. A lot of authors pretend to have some fantastic step-by-step formula that will do what years of therapy and self-exploration won't. There is no way to look at a diverse group of people and come up with a formula that will solve the mystery of life for one and all.
You've got to get your head in the game so you can figure it out for yourself. That means clearing out the negativity and depression that is closing you off from the possibility that matters to you. If you want steps, I'll give you steps that will open you up so you can find the clarity that will help you find out what you truly are meant to do. The answers are within you -- not some author.
1. Get dressed in the morning. Look good. Feel good so you can deliver.
2. Exercise. Do you stop exercisingbecause you get depressed or do you get depressed because you stoppedexercising? Do whatever you need to do in order to keep your depressionat bay. Take your meds. Pray. Take care of yourself so you are able todeliver at your greatest level of performance.
3. Take charge of your brain. If you putnegative in, you get negative out. Put positive in, get positive out.You have tremendous power to control what you are thinking and, whenyou start hearing the negative tapes, just give yourself a verbal“Stop” cue. Deliberately replace your negative thoughts with somethingpositive. It’s easier if you have a list of five positive things to goto for those low moments. For example, “I’ve been so successful in thepast. I’m smart enough to get through this.”
4. Know that these tough times will notlast forever. As much as it feels like you are sinking into abottomless pit of quicksand, you aren’t. Don’t let yourself slide intothe mentality that says you may never get another job, that you maynever make as much as you once made, that you will have to work untilthe day you die. All that does is make you struggle more.
5. Remember who you are and who you arenot. I see a lot of people who experience rejection and then process itas failure. They forget how talented and viable they are, so it becomesharder to project themselves as desirable. That poises them for morerejection. You have not lost your talent. And your setbacks have noterased your successes. They are just obstacles. You have succeeded inthe past and you will succeed in the future.
6. Choose your friends carefully. If yousurround yourself with hopeless people, you’ll lose hope. This can behard if most of your friends are former co-workers who were also laidoff. And, that can be even worse if you are competing for the same jobsagainst your friends. You’ll constantly wonder why someone got aninterview or job that you didn’t. For the time being, be around peoplewho will propel your success.
7. Network. Duh. We’ve all heard “It’s not what you know but who you know.” Well, it is also how youknow them. Don’t network to make business connections. Network to makerelationships. It is more important that you know that somebody likesto watch Grey’s Anatomy and loves pizza with anchovies than it is thatyou know their job description. Make important people fall in love withyour personality and leverage those friendships so they take care ofyou professionally.
8. Listen. What are you supposed to dowith your life? The universe will send you many prompts. Great turningpoints often present themselves in passing.
9. Don’t limit yourself to theclassifieds. Executives are constantly asking other executives, “Do youknow anyone who can…” They don’t want to advertise jobs because theydon’t want 8,000 resumes. Network, network, network. Figure out whereyou want to work, then start writing key people to introduce yourself.
10. Know your weekly goals and achievethem by setting daily tasks. Then, do them. Do something every day tomove you closer to your goal. Whether you spend time networking orwriting letters or taking classes or attending job fairs, do something to keep yourself in the game.
The most important thing is to have faith.Things will work out. I am not being flip. I am not shrugging off yourpain or uncertainty. Things do have a way of working out. I don’t wantto minimize anybody’s suffering or delude myself into thinking thathope conquers all, but the truth is that there are very few of you whowill wind up eating out of garbage cans. There’s so much you can’tcontrol, so give it to the wind.