The 12 Week Plan: A Road Map to Not Getting Our A**es Kicked on November 2

The 12 Week Plan will not make your abs tighter. It will not help you lose 10 pounds or even five. It will not get you off booze, crack, pills, glue, or make your ex decide to like you again. In short, the 12 Week Plan will not solve any of your life problems. Except one.

You will not have to spend the next two years listening to House Speaker John Boehner and wondering whether he actually just gets up in the morning and smears orange paint on his face.

You will not have to spend the next two years hearing, as the tiny window of change slams shut on your fingers and Barack Obama's neck, how the 2008 election was a fluke. Yet the 2010 election is a mandate from the American people. And how the party of 'No' is poised to take back the Presidency in 2012.

You think you're unhappy now under Obama, Pelosi and Reid? Sheeeeet. Wait until the guys who drove the car into the ditch for eight consecutive years get their hands back on the steering wheel. Wait until they get their butts into the drivers seat. Then you will know unhappy.

This is a moral imperative. We need to stop these people. We have to stop Karl Rove and his $200 million machine from taking over our country again. We have a moral imperative to stop Rand Paul, Sharon Angle and the Orange Man.

Yet somehow, according to polls, Republicans are twice as motivated as Democrats to vote in November. Are you kidding me? So we're just going to sit by, let the bad guys eat our lunch? Really?

No. We are not.

That is why we created the 12 Week Plan. The 12 Week Plan is a new effort by a broad array of progressive groups. We pick key political moments to maximize our volunteer power through local self-organized teams.

The 12 Week Plan kicks-off the weekend of August 28-29 in a coffee shop, restaurant or house party near you. The idea is to get together with friends to make a plan for your community. You can download a template 12 Week Plan. Customize it to your schedule and key dates in your state. If you miss the August kick-off, you can plug in later.

The 12 Week Plan cares about you. You get Labor Day weekend off. Isn't that generous? Then it's time to get back to work before the Republicans take control and re-institute a 60 hour work week. Or a zero hour work week for lazy bums like you who don't have a real job and don't deserve one anyway.

September is all about voter registration, and making a local voter guide. Together, you will research and cut through the bullshit to tell voters in your area the real deal on local candidates up and down the ballot.

A home-made local voter guide with real talk recommendations is the one piece of election literature that people actually want to get. You and your friends can help empower thousands of voters, and influence thousands of votes in your town. That's enough to help swing close elections, make politicians grovel and beg for your support. Mwahahaha.

September is the month we start organizing regular swing state and swing district trips. We have a national map with targeting recommendations. If you're in Boston, you can organize buses or car pools to New Hampshire or MA-10. If you're in DC, you can organize trips to Charlottesville to protect Tom Perriello in VA-5 or to Pennsylvania to fight for competitive Senate seats. If you're in California, you can organize trips to Nevada. If you're in Albuquerque, you can run trips to Las Cruces to protect Harry Teague. If you're in Chicago, you can stay put because Illinois somehow became a f-ing swing state this year. Wherever you live, we'll hook you up: targeting info, ride boards, buses, everything you need.

On September 28, we're doing a national day of voter registration. There are a series of big national actions: The 10-2-10 One Nation March in DC. The 10-10-10 Day of Action on Climate. Early voting begins in some states. We will remind people to vote early, drive folks to the polls, and pass out our home-made voter guides -which will also be available via Facebook, Twitter and smart phones.

In Mid-October, we're getting volunteers together to plan GOTV. We have an 86 Hour GOTV Plan which begins Saturday before election day. Sunday October 31 is Halloween so a lot of groups will be doing Trick or Vote -the biggest door-to-door canvass of the year (in costume) to scare out the vote. Trick or Vote has been proven as a successful model to get out new volunteers, to get voters to actually open their doors, and also to get free candy. I'm thinking I'll wear orange paint on my face and dress as Speaker Boehner.

Then it's GOTV. We'll connect you with everything you need to run a GOTV operation or hook you up with sophisticated groups in your area to volunteer with.

After polls close, we celebrate. Two weeks later: (Week 13 of the 12 Week Plan), we will attend local Rootscamp sessions to debrief, talk next steps, and then take a big well-deserved 12 Week Vacation knowing we did everything we could to stop the bad guys.

I'm sorry, that orange-painted face look really gets to me.