The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or less.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women”” page for past roundups.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here.
What’s it like living with anxiety: pic.twitter.com/IDne7YbZMl
— Hannah Thompson (@HLThompson93) February 27, 2020
🎶 you coulda had a bad bitch, noncommittal
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) February 27, 2020
this movie’s about women, who are little 🎵
- greta g
leave me alone i’m manifesting pic.twitter.com/73cCjz9b58
— steph (@hearteyedhoe) February 24, 2020
nothing like being the first one on a conference call to show everyone who’s not boss
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) February 27, 2020
half my girl friends have turned into militant socialists the other half dont leave home w/o their boyfriends neither group is ever available for dinner
— mal (@upstreamculotte) February 24, 2020
A slice of apple pie is $1.40 in Jamaica, and $2.60 in the Bahamas.
— Stephy (@StephanieYeboah) February 26, 2020
These are the pie rates of the Caribbean.
sex and the city made me think adult life would involve a freakish amount of walking at night while jazz music played
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) February 24, 2020
Who needs a weighted blanket when you can just lie under a week of unfolded laundry?
— Snarky Mommy (@SnarkyMommy78) February 27, 2020
Really wasn’t prepared for how much of adulthood you can spend freaking yourself out with the Google results of any given bodily symptom
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) February 25, 2020
my favorite activity -- based on amount of time I devote to it -- is lying awake all night worrying that I need to get a good night's sleep
— maura quint (@behindyourback) February 24, 2020
Therapy but instead of an office with a trained therapist it’s a public bathroom with 3+ drunk girls who tell you your outfit is amazing and you deserve better than what’s going on in your life and you all hug and never see each other ever again
— ✨V✨ (@coolauntV) February 27, 2020
when gmail nudges me about an email i haven’t answered in a timely fashion pic.twitter.com/FbTGLz9DP5
— Kristen Arnett (@Kristen_Arnett) February 27, 2020
"Is he hot or just he just have a beard and sunglasses" - the eternal question
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) February 27, 2020
Every major U.S. city has a nearly identical overcrowded food hall in a new cement building with string lights and stalls like “Meatball Slut”
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) February 25, 2020
CDC: don’t touch your face
— Brooke Rogers 🌻 (@bkerogers) February 28, 2020
Me:
pic.twitter.com/rWByMxsDJ8
my favorite movie trope is when hot girl is... surprisingly beer drinking? when she’s girl but eat burger? when she lipstick but also talk football? when she grew up with four brothers but also... has blonde hair???
— 𝕤𝕦𝕟𝕗𝕝𝕠𝕨𝕖𝕣 (@spinubzilla) February 27, 2020
Face down
— amber ruffin (@ambermruffin) February 28, 2020
ass up
That’s the way I like to
sleep
My midwestern ass loves screaming thank you when leaving literally any establishment
— julia shiplett (@juliashiplett) February 28, 2020
How do we know this wasn’t Miss Frizz’s true form pic.twitter.com/CC4RhCIAcp
— ghost mom (@radtoria) February 26, 2020
saying “pulp fiction isn’t even that good” in a room full of men just to feel something
— carmen (@joanofarcsgf) February 26, 2020
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