The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant and succinct wit. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious musings of 280 characters or less.
Scroll through this week’s great tweets from women below. Then visit our “Funniest Tweets From Women” page for past roundups.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets of the Week newsletter here.
Next to Carrie's apartment, the most unrealistic part of Sex and the City is that Charlotte didn't have 10 screaming sorority sisters as her bridesmaids. pic.twitter.com/G2ND1xhvOZ
— Sophie Vershbow (@svershbow) March 9, 2020
i am "furiously googling three of the references you just made" years old
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) March 11, 2020
During social distancing, it’s important to remember good conference call etiquette:
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) March 10, 2020
- awkward silence
- can you hear me
- [weird small talk because someone is 10 min late]
- BEEP BOOP
- strange crunch
- heavy breath
- oops sorry you go ahead
- sorry no, you
- BOOP beep
- bye?
a little worried bc I have the same symptoms as Tom Hanks (tall, handsome, kind, everyman)
— Karen Chee (@karencheee) March 12, 2020
I caught myself admiring the architecture of my local grocery store so I guess I’ve hit peak adulthood.
— Maryfairyboberry (@MaryJustice86) March 10, 2020
Took my mom a record amount of time to roast my love life by calling it a self quarantine so there’s that
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) March 10, 2020
if u live with a significant other and think all the co-quarantining will cause u to break up, email me at megzukin at gmail dot com. i’m not writing a story im just messy and love drama
— meg zukin (@bymeg) March 13, 2020
People who use any other buttons on your microwave besides 30 Seconds and Popcorn, explain yourselves.
— Divergent Mama (@Divergentmama) March 12, 2020
some of you lack the disassociative skills needed to emotionally survive the apocalypse and it shows
— ziwe (@ziwe) March 10, 2020
I’ve been cancelling plans at the last minute for years so I guess you could say that I invented social distancing.
— The Mom Who Knew Too Much (@Gilapfeffer) March 12, 2020
i wish we could go back to how it was before, in the pods
— Andrea Long Chu (@theorygurl) March 10, 2020
Me immediately zooming to the "personal life" section of every Wikipedia page pic.twitter.com/SErF0n1cPD
— Gabriella Paiella (@GMPaiella) March 12, 2020
Canceling all of my brunch appearances until further notice.
— Nina Parker (@MzGossipGirl) March 11, 2020
Anxiety, or, as I like to call it, God's Caffeine
— Chelsea Hodson (@ChelseaHodson) March 8, 2020
Who told the bots that “hello dear” was an appropriate human greeting & not the way haunted dolls speak to each other
— Pigeon Fancier (@isabelzawtun) March 9, 2020
A hundred years ago instead of reading this you would’ve been lying in a feather bed hoping no one discovers the hillside where you pick wild strawberries
— Mave (@MavenofHonor) March 9, 2020
I know somebody needs to hear this right now DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX I REPEAT DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) March 13, 2020
If the world ends after I did all this therapy work to get my shit together, I'm gonna be so fucking pissed
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) March 11, 2020
You’re telling me my professor who can’t stop the YouTube autoplayer from playing the next video is going to teach classes online? This should be good.
— Nikki Insana (@NikkiInsana) March 11, 2020
I just stress-ate a whole cantaloupe. Shit’s getting weird
— Jia Tolentino (@jiatolentino) March 12, 2020
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