We stayed out too late last night so this morning my children are experiencing life without rules.— Dad and Buried (@DadandBuried) September 23, 2018
[Babies]— TheBabyLady (@thebabylady7) September 24, 2018
ME: *gushing* “Omg they’re like little miniature versions of us!”
ME: *fuming* Omg why do they have to be exactly like us.
My four year old is insisting he'll only eat "monster food," and whatever that is, it's definitely not the grilled cheese my wife just made.— dadpression (@Dadpression) September 27, 2018
In 5th grade, we were asked to bring in a food that was traditional in our family. Pat brought doughnuts. Pat’s mom got it.— Mary (@AnniemuMary) September 23, 2018
My fantasy football teams have gradually gotten worse since I became a parent, but my knowledge of the Disney Junior lineup is getting scary.— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) September 28, 2018
If you’d love to answer everyone’s questions while yours go completely ignored than parenthood is right for you.— OneFunnyMummy (@OneFunnyMummy) September 26, 2018
The good news is that we finally found the sippy cup of milk our toddler hid. The bad news is that that toddler is now 11 years old.— Abe Yospe (@Cheeseboy22) September 24, 2018
A mom hits peak passive aggressive when faced with the request "tell me a story"— Healthy Living for Hot Messes (@HLFHM) September 21, 2018
Well Billy, once upon a time there was a little boy who literally never picked up his shit
4-year-old: Can I watch the Grinch?— James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 23, 2018
Me: It's not Christmas.
4: He might steal Halloween.
I don’t go out very much because I have little kids, but OMG just you wait, when they’re older... I’m probably going to come up with another excuse.— Mommy Owl (@Lhlodder) September 26, 2018
All my kids are crying and no one is allowed to watch YouTube for 3 years, but yeah, I'm so excited it's the weekend all that— Salty Mermaid (@Jenn_H_Scott) September 28, 2018
Husband: “They say humans are not meant to multitask.”— Jesspacito (@mommajessiec) September 26, 2018
Me: *cooking dinner while holding toddler while signing permission slip with foot while shooting lasers from eyes at him* “You don’t say.”
It’s weird how we tell our kids not to lie until they turn 11 and the kid’s menu is for 10 and under.— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) September 26, 2018
Just watched my 3yo daughter reprimand her doll by saying "Are you freakin kidding me?!"— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) September 19, 2018
Thinking I may need to reevaluate my approach.
Child: I want two sandwiches.— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) September 27, 2018
Me: I’ll make you one sandwich.
Child: I want two.
Me: You won’t eat two.
Child: YES I WILL I’M STARVING
Me: If I make you two sandwiches, you’d better eat two sandwiches.
Child: I will.
Child [halfway through first sandwich]: I’m full.
Parents of toddlers: hang in there. It gets better. My daughter bought me a drink tonight.— Jandalize (@Jandalize) September 23, 2018