The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Your phone dying while you're on Tinder is the definition of insult to injury.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) January 7, 2016
"what if a blonde woman was nervous and everyone around her insulted her for several hours" - Hitchcock, for some reason
— Mallory Ortberg (@mallelis) January 4, 2016
some "introverts" sure like to talk about how "introverted" they are NON-STOP. like i get it, u shy, can u be shy in a quieter way please
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) January 5, 2016
"Strong Female Lead Going Through A Divorce" is the Netflix category that STILL does not exist despite my letters
— Haley Mlotek (@haleymlotek) January 4, 2016
HEY TWITTER IF I WANTED 10,000 CHARACTERS THAT I WASN'T INTERESTED IN I WOULD START WATCHING GAME OF THRONES
— ❄️Kim Monte❄️ (@KimmyMonte) January 6, 2016
man: listen to my opinion woman: no i dont have to man: woah youre getting emotional woman: *mails self to the moon*
— Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) January 7, 2016
Men who post women's addresses online as revenge are gonna be PISSED when I tell them about this thing called THE PHONE BOOK.
— Alana Midnight Mass (@AlanaMassey) January 6, 2016
Me: I have so much to do tonight, I should probably stick to seltzer Wine: One glass won’t hurt. POUR ME
— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) January 7, 2016
Start the year off wrong, text "k" to every one of your contacts
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) January 2, 2016
A controversial joke I wrote was cut from "Grace & Frankie," so I'd like to share it here: Tomato basil soup is actually just tomato sauce.
— Julieanne Smolinski (@BoobsRadley) January 7, 2016
[hands men's rights activist a picture of his dick] Show me where feminism hurt you.
— OhNoSheTwitnt (@OhNoSheTwitnt) January 8, 2016
My new thing is solid juicing. Apples, bananas, oranges. Instead of blending them you eat them.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) January 5, 2016
Objective Reality: You're doing fine! My Brain: YOU ARE FAILING ON EVERY CONCEIVABLE LEVEL
— Jenny Jaffe (@jennyjaffe) January 7, 2016
Sorry to text you so late but can your dog come over?
— Noodles (@Dawn_M_) January 6, 2016
"Donald trump isn't real, he's just a huge social experiment and they're gonna tell us any day now" -me everyday for the past six months
— farwz (@farwzaz) January 8, 2016
The main reason I don't carry a gun is because I would shoot people who scare me when they sneeze.
— bubble girl (@JessObsess) January 5, 2016
PRIEST: Do you take this woman? HIM: I do PRIEST: And do you take this man? ME: [texting from open bar] "K"
— Amanda Hugnkiss (@caliluvgirl77) January 5, 2016
being an adult is so cool. you can do all the things you weren't allowed to as a kid. like right now- i'm paying bills and crying in my soup
— bougie beth (@bourgeoisalien) January 5, 2016
There can’t be world peace if people continue to reply to every part of my email except the part where I actually asked them a question.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) January 8, 2016
*waves my hand dismissively at the whole world* “None of this will do.”
— Annie (@HatfieldAnne) January 8, 2016
Also on HuffPost:
The 50 Funniest Tweets From Women In 2015
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