The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
[goes to the gym one time] "i'm hot"
— Megan Neuringer (@MeganNeuringer) January 22, 2016
can someone pass the message on to michael b jordan that my phone ate all texts sent in the past 24 hrs so he will have to sext me again thx
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) January 20, 2016
Today is the 30th anniversary of MLK Day becoming a national holiday. But honestly, the country doesn’t look a day over desegregation.
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) January 18, 2016
I have but two goals for my Girl Scout troop, cookie sales and progressive indoctrination, and it looks like we're all done selling cookies
— Nicole Chung (@nicole_soojung) January 20, 2016
Is yoda is an aspiring fashion blogger? Yeezy season 2 outfit✔️ Almond shaped acrylics✔️ On trend grey hair✔️ pic.twitter.com/exhDjqbAXj
— Gabby Noone (@twelveoclocke) January 21, 2016
In grade school, bullies used to say that liking Sporty Spice made me gay. They were so right LMAO
— Jillian Gutowitz (@jillboard) January 18, 2016
Me on Friday night: pic.twitter.com/8ErDRvD1oV
— Alyssa Bailey (@alyssabailey) January 15, 2016
Every white girl in Brooklyn is gonna be Harley Quinn for Halloween this year. #SuicideSquad
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) January 20, 2016
if you want to piss off everyone at the whitney, refer to all self-portraits as 'selfies'
— Alanna Okun (@alanna) January 18, 2016
*sets up a gofundme for compliments*
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) January 16, 2016
Periods are like a friend who comes bearing good news but then stays for a week, eats all your food, and borrows and ruins your clothes
— Mara Wilson (@MaraWritesStuff) January 19, 2016
excuse me what the fuck is THUNDER SNOW pic.twitter.com/sz8bzcBzVy
— kelsey mckinney (@mckinneykelsey) January 21, 2016
Having a spoonful of peanut butter before bed is like the gateway drug to eating half your groceries
— Taylor Trudon (@taylortrudon) January 20, 2016
My most aggressive pickup line according to most men: "I too am interested in and knowledgeable about this pop culture topic"
— NATALIE WALKER (@nwalks) January 20, 2016
The one thing I am grateful for this election cycle is the lack of sex stories that have emerged about Bernie Sanders
— Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) January 20, 2016
LIFE HACK: Don't be an asshole.
— Mary Beth Williams (@embeedub) January 21, 2016
Does this cat look like Adam Driver yes or yes pic.twitter.com/9lTL5UgQsl
— Jamie Feldman (@RealGirlProject) January 18, 2016
People that got a full nights sleep before early flights sicken me.
— Liza Treyger (@GlitterCheese) January 17, 2016
everyone's got an ex-boyfriend who lives in murray hill
— Caroline Bologna (@CarolineSB) January 21, 2016
finish your salad. a thousand islands died to make that dressing.
— rachelle mandik (@rachelle_mandik) January 21, 2016
Also on HuffPost:
The 50 Funniest Tweets From Women In 2015
Support HuffPost
Our 2024 Coverage Needs You
Your Loyalty Means The World To Us
At HuffPost, we believe that everyone needs high-quality journalism, but we understand that not everyone can afford to pay for expensive news subscriptions. That is why we are committed to providing deeply reported, carefully fact-checked news that is freely accessible to everyone.
Whether you come to HuffPost for updates on the 2024 presidential race, hard-hitting investigations into critical issues facing our country today, or trending stories that make you laugh, we appreciate you. The truth is, news costs money to produce, and we are proud that we have never put our stories behind an expensive paywall.
Would you join us to help keep our stories free for all? Your contribution of as little as $2 will go a long way.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
As Americans head to the polls in 2024, the very future of our country is at stake. At HuffPost, we believe that a free press is critical to creating well-informed voters. That's why our journalism is free for everyone, even though other newsrooms retreat behind expensive paywalls.
Our journalists will continue to cover the twists and turns during this historic presidential election. With your help, we'll bring you hard-hitting investigations, well-researched analysis and timely takes you can't find elsewhere. Reporting in this current political climate is a responsibility we do not take lightly, and we thank you for your support.
Contribute as little as $2 to keep our news free for all.
Can't afford to donate? Support HuffPost by creating a free account and log in while you read.
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. Would you consider becoming a regular HuffPost contributor?
Dear HuffPost Reader
Thank you for your past contribution to HuffPost. We are sincerely grateful for readers like you who help us ensure that we can keep our journalism free for everyone.
The stakes are high this year, and our 2024 coverage could use continued support. If circumstances have changed since you last contributed, we hope you’ll consider contributing to HuffPost once more.
Already contributed? Log in to hide these messages.