The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
somebody said Taylor Swift is a Slytherin masquerading as a Hufflepuff and I fell out— Zeba Blay (@zblay) July 19, 2016
As a transgender woman, I can empathize with online trolls because I, too, have an extremely tiny dick.— Avery Edison (@aedison) July 20, 2016
RNC DRINKING GAME: drink every time...that's it. drink every time.— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 20, 2016
Can't wait for Donald Trump's speech on the challenges of growing up black in Hawaii.— Kashana (@kashanacauley) July 19, 2016
1. She wrote it. 2. She didn't. 3. It wasn't plagiarism. 4. Hillary's fault. 5. My Little Pony. 6. It was plagiarism, but it was an accident— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) July 20, 2016
Play Pokémon Go? If I wanted to spot weird creatures imposing upon my daily life I would just watch the Republican National Convention.— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) July 19, 2016
Taylor swift paid the trump campaign big $$ to steal Michelle's speech in order to distract ppl from kim k recording that phone call— mitra jouhari (@tweetrajouhari) July 19, 2016
The American People: The GOP needs to expand its demographic beyond white men if it wants to win— Amy Dentata (@AmyDentata) July 21, 2016
GOP: *adds vampires and albino white men*
Donald Trump is the dad that won't leave all the kids alone at the pool party.— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) July 22, 2016
Today's anxiety level: Just got scared by a butterfly.— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) July 18, 2016
There's nothing a 9hr nap can't solve— maria (@cakefacedcutie) July 22, 2016
I guess my biggest fear about Trump winning is that I'll inevitably have to go on trial for being a witch.— Alison Leiby (@AlisonLeiby) July 19, 2016
If only we could harness the power of Mick Jagger's sperm, the world wouldn't have to rely on fossil fuels— Gloria Fallon (@GloriaFallon123) July 15, 2016
I just went to McD's and got a salad, while my kids got burgers and fries.— Anita Helmet (@AnitaHelmet) July 22, 2016
Don't tell me that I don't have willpower.
*licks kids fingers*
I've read so many bad things about alcohol that I have decided to stop reading— LittleMissSunshine (@MissNaughty1801) July 15, 2016
GOP pundit on radio:— kelly oxford (@kellyoxford) July 20, 2016
"Trump isn't sexist. He has daughters."
"It's not like he planned to have them."