The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Fall 2016 Baby Name predictions:
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) August 14, 2016
Simone
Hillary
Pikachu
Beer Can Rippin Chicken
Pommel horse is such a weird Olympic event like "ok what if breakdancing on a park bench was a sport"
— Sophie Gadd (@sophie_gadd) August 14, 2016
the best things in life are brie
— Alexis Wilkinson (@OhGodItsAlexis) August 14, 2016
when you google a guy who asked you out and 'men's rights activist' is in his Twitter bio pic.twitter.com/CaMMJO9dtP
— Molly Knight (@molly_knight) August 15, 2016
One of the announcers just said "11-9" and I thought "damn, Olympians are gigantic" but that was just the score.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) August 15, 2016
rihanna is the perfect celebrity because she likes wine and fun (relatable) but is better-looking and richer than anyone (aspirational).
— Alex Alvarez (@soalexgoes) August 14, 2016
If I had to give my anxiety a number, it would be an irrational one
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) August 15, 2016
I used a makeup wipe to clean a spot of grease off a piece of furniture & it stripped the paint, so RIP, face.
— Erica (@SCbchbum) August 14, 2016
There's nothing like a paper cut to remind you you ain't shit
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) August 10, 2016
Michael Phelps has 28 Olympic medals.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) August 14, 2016
I, on the other hand, don't even have 28 different socks.
I appreciate Olympic commentary that tells me the ages of the athletes so I know if it's ok to think they're hot
— Lily Weber (@ell_webz) August 15, 2016
Athletes are performing the world's most difficult physical feats in Rio and my arms just got tired putting clean sheets on my bed.
— Stephanie McMaster (@Smethanie) August 17, 2016
That new workout tv channel from Rio is harder than any Insanity workout video I've ever seen.
— The Eh Factor (@AngelaEhh) August 17, 2016
me walking into a nail salon with my bestie to get mani pedis even though we didn't make a reservation. pic.twitter.com/cImxCADV4Y
— Morgan Murphy (@morgan_murphy) August 14, 2016
*dozing off at night, thinking*
— GABY DUNN (@gabydunn) August 16, 2016
Am I actually polyamorous or do I just want all my friends to come over to hang out in my bed with me?
If any Olympians need some advice on how to lose all your muscle tone hit me up
— Whitney Cummings (@WhitneyCummings) August 16, 2016
I treat my tweets like they're my kids. I send them off with a shrug and hope they don't piss anyone off too much.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) August 16, 2016
Got so excited opening my new crockpot this morning that my period started
— Jenavieve Hatch (@jenavievehatch) August 13, 2016
Women: be thin but not too thin, funny but not too funny, eat pizza but not too much pizza--
— Nina Bargiel (@slackmistress) August 17, 2016
Men: just don't be rape apologists!
I so loathe misogyny that I've never once spelled it correctly without having to look it up in the dictionary
— Emily Peck (@EmilyRPeck) August 16, 2016
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