The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Twitter is the only performance art I'll ever do besides every social interaction I'll ever have in my life
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) October 24, 2016
I now get more emails from Hillary Clinton than I do from my mom, and it's increasingly difficult to tell them apart. pic.twitter.com/fwyONlahoP
— Chloe Angyal (@ChloeAngyal) October 24, 2016
Went to order a spinach feta egg wrap but instead just yelled out "CAN I HAVE A FETISH."
— Scaachi (@Scaachi) October 28, 2016
Almost every day my job involves picking which picture of a baby is the cutest so
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) October 24, 2016
when you're fighting and they're like "NAME ONE TIME WHEN—" pic.twitter.com/lbsjiz9Pou
— Mandy Slamberg (@MandySlamberg) October 24, 2016
The great thing about forgetting people you hate is that when you remember them it's like hating them for the very first time.
— Nina Bargiel (@slackmistress) October 26, 2016
It's getting to be the end of the month. Have you cancelled your TIDAL free trial yet before it's too late?
— Morgan Jerkins (@MorganJerkins) October 28, 2016
This election season has cemented my love for Rachel Maddow, vodka, Stephen King, chocolate, sighing, eye rolls & vigorous shower screaming.
— Nasty Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) October 23, 2016
My friend's kid asked what I was gonna be for Halloween and I said "sad," and she asked "from the movie Inside Out?" so I lied and said yes.
— Sarah (@thetigersez) October 22, 2016
me: i'm an opinionated woman woman who knows what she wants
— carmen (@carmenhatesu) October 25, 2016
anyone: what do u wanna eat
me: pic.twitter.com/gdhrv0ScXB
I wish there was a People's Choice for "outstanding performance in pretending I never saw your facebook invite for your level 1 improv show"
— Michelle Markowitz (@michmarkowitz) October 27, 2016
If I fly Emirates and Jennifer Aniston doesn't co-opt my family and give me her 1st class seat, I'm going to feel very misled by these ads.
— Erin Darke (@ErinMayaDarke) October 27, 2016
ladies: the day after Halloween, don't forget to buy all the discounted blood capsules to keep in your mouth when men tell you to smile
— Sammy Nickalls (@sammynickalls) October 28, 2016
There oughta be a couch with a built-in cowlneck sweater you can slip into so you essentially become one with the couch
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) October 23, 2016
Me: Stop online shopping
— Eerily Andraculas (@emtothea) October 28, 2016
Also me: buys some more novelty socks
Dance like everyone's looking at their phone.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) October 27, 2016
Becky with the bad cold
— Mindy Kaling (@mindykaling) October 26, 2016
The cooking instructions on a box of frozen pizza should just read: "You're finally rethinking that creative writing degree, aren't you?"
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) October 27, 2016
This is the year I get abs or a boyfriend, whichever's easier (I have a feeling it's the abs).
— Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) October 23, 2016
you ever get drunk, lose your phone, cry for twenty minutes, find it and then keep drinking?
— Jenna Amatulli (@ohheyjenna) October 27, 2016
Yeah, me neither.
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