The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Humanity is easily divided into two groups: Beyoncé fans, and people who just don't know they're Beyoncé fans yet.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) November 26, 2016
jesus be a bottle of wine with a really, really tall straw inside
— Tracy Clayton (@brokeymcpoverty) December 1, 2016
Nothing is hotter than a guy that voted for Hillary.
— Eden Dranger (@Eden_Eats) November 28, 2016
Perhaps my bar has gotten too low because someone asked me what is it about this girl and the first thing I said was "she seems sane"
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) November 27, 2016
Thanksgiving
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) November 27, 2016
Black Friday
Small Business Saturday
Fuck I Have To Go Back To Work Tomorrow Sunday
Whenever someone says "I'll think about it" to an offer, they mean "Definitely no, but here, have this lie I made you myself."
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) November 29, 2016
I literally just woke up from a dream that Pantsuit Nation is regular facebook and everything else on it is considered "alt right."
— Jessi Klein (@jessirklein) November 28, 2016
Last night was the lighting of the Rockefeller Tree in New York City, or as it's known to locals, free tourist wallets.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) December 1, 2016
kinda want to fight somebody so I just keep saying "love actually is trash" & waiting
— Julia Bush (@jabush) December 2, 2016
Waited until Monday at 12:30am to make my most controversial tweet ever:
— Nina Bargiel (@slackmistress) November 28, 2016
I don't care about Gilmore Girls.
A guy named Chad on Tinder identifying as "nonmonogs" pic.twitter.com/cBUNmgSd9f
— Jenavieve Hatch (@jenavievehatch) November 27, 2016
Well, at bare minimum at least 2016 definitively answered, "What would it be like to be left behind during The Rapture?"
— beth can't with this (@bourgeoisalien) November 30, 2016
Advent calendars are fun if you ignore that every day is a new, fresh hell waiting to be survived.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) December 2, 2016
IT'S THE LAST MONTH OF THE SHITTIEST YEAR EVER
— Jenna Amatulli (@ohheyjenna) December 1, 2016
I just heard some white dude say to some other white dude, "Why does it hurt your feelings when I say that you're privileged?"
— Sara Benincasa (@SaraJBenincasa) November 30, 2016
IT BEGINS.
when u open snapchat or instagram and your beautiful best friends have posted selfies pic.twitter.com/o5rdLIsDZu
— farwz (@farwzz) November 29, 2016
“Mr. Trump we need a pick for Dept. of the Interior”
— Ashley Feinberg (@ashleyfeinberg) November 29, 2016
“Call up Ashley Furniture”
“Sir, I don’t think tha—"
“And get Ethan Allen on line 2"
it must be exhausting for him to think of other people long enough to pick them for cabinet positions
— niina pollari (@heartbarf) December 2, 2016
my beauty secret is i go to sleep crying and then i wake up crying
— Gabby Bess (@seemstween) November 30, 2016
I find myself being more courteous to automated phone menus the day after watching Westworld
— Emily Gould (@EmilyGould) November 28, 2016
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