WOMEN

The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week

The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.

By the time Trump's first term is done, we're gonna need a wall to keep people in.
— Erin 🎶Gloria🎶 Ryan (@morninggloria) January 20, 2017

My mom just told me that when I was a kid I abandoned my preschool class and when asked why I told her "those kids are getting on my nerves"
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) January 18, 2017

You deserve a nap.
— Chrissa Hardy (@chrissahardy) January 18, 2017

Lord please grant me the confidence of a white dude who's about to become the head of a federal agency he doesn't understand
— Lauren Kelley (@lauren_kelley) January 19, 2017

Tfw in college you sign up for an advanced class to look all cool and you buy a new notebook and 2 minutes into the first class you're like pic.twitter.com/cvNxqDPnad
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) January 18, 2017

We are all Michelle Obama today pic.twitter.com/MZLZKX1UhO
— Bitch Problems! (@FemaleTexts) January 20, 2017

1 margarita: I tell you I love your hair.
2 margaritas: We take a selfie.
3 margaritas: I convince you that your apartment is haunted.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) January 19, 2017

We are living in that part of Ghostbusters where Gozer is summoned then all those evil creatures start coming out of the street.
— Vanessa Ramos (@thatRamosgirl) January 13, 2017

Just put "shave legs" into my Google calendar, in case you were wondering how I'm doing.
— Naomi (@Blacktress) January 15, 2017

Film student:"I'm very influenced by realistic french new wave"
Film student means: "This is the only type of films I can afford to make"
— Leigh Lahav (@leighlahav) January 19, 2017

is it too much to ask that everyone in my life quit their jobs or drop out of school so they can text me back on time
— farwz (@farwzz) January 17, 2017

renaming "waking up early" to "up before the Trump tweets"
— maura quint (@behindyourback) January 14, 2017

know that uneasy feeling you get watching Walking Dead, right before a walker pops out & rips someone's face off? that's how America feels.
— Franchesca Ramsey (@chescaleigh) January 19, 2017

"but what about federal funding for--"

don't care. otters pic.twitter.com/30qWoyMn6B
— wikipedia brown (@eveewing) January 19, 2017

.@Beyonce imagine how mad Trump would be if you released an album tomorrow.
— KB (@KaraRBrown) January 19, 2017

"Let the chips fall where they may."

My toddler's approach to life, snack time, board games, baking, and scratching paint off the walls.
— JenniFerCryinOutLoud (@sip_at_home_mom) January 18, 2017

presenting a group project and you gotta stand next to the girl who did 0% of the work but still put her name on it pic.twitter.com/P6JohRFVs2
— Carina Hsieh (@carinahsieh) January 20, 2017

I typed, "I'm tired" and autocorrect changed it to, "You're 35. This is just who you are now."
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) January 18, 2017

[school drop-off]

Kid, "I forgot to brush my teeth!"

So I did what any good mother/freshmaker would and gave him a pack of Mentos.
— Lady Lawya (@Parkerlawyer) January 17, 2017

#TrumpPressConference
Q: What's ur response 2 Putin & hacking?
Trump: He shouldn't have done it. I don't think he will do it again.

Putin: pic.twitter.com/fHbrnxRJDX
— Phoebe Robinson (@dopequeenpheebs) January 11, 2017

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