WOMEN

The 20 Funniest Tweets From Women This Week

The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our/www.huffingtonpost.com/news/hpw-tweets/"}}"> Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.

Sign up for our Funniest Tweets Of The Week newsletter /www.huffingtonpost.com/newsletters/funniest-tweets-from-women","lnid":"here"}}">here.

There's a nap for that
— Charlene deGuzman (@charstarlene) July 17, 2017

Between A Wrinkle In Time and Doctor Who I could honestly live on the impotent white male rage for like years, who needs food
— Rachel Feltman (@RachelFeltman) July 16, 2017

me: im back on my bullshit lol
narrator: she was, in fact, never off her bullshit in the first place
— indie (@COCONUTOILBAE) July 17, 2017

Got up super early for yoga so I can spend the rest of the day bragging about getting up super early for yoga.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) July 18, 2017

Tonight, a small New York dream came true: a homeless dude looked at me and said "suck my dick, Beyoncé"
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) July 19, 2017

My to-do list today is just a bunch of things that I want to eat.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) July 18, 2017

i have two moods pic.twitter.com/2hvk5vgE26
— harriet pudney (@lqpharriet) July 18, 2017

What idiot called it The Sound of Music and not Nuns on the Run?
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) July 19, 2017

I've still never seen a fidget spinner in person. So I guess I've made all the correct life choices?
— Anna Kendrick (@AnnaKendrick47) July 19, 2017

Never lie down in bed before you brush your teeth that's the wisdom I have to pass on for the ages
— Jen Doll (@thisisjendoll) July 21, 2017

I wonder if the White House has alt-fact checkers who cross out anything resembling the truth & rejigger it all better
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) July 20, 2017

When my editor asks where my draft is pic.twitter.com/OFuSVCOR7w
— Olivia Nuzzi (@Olivianuzzi) July 18, 2017

I would say I have an "artistic temperament" which is to say I am "French" which is to say fuck the 40 hour work week
— Anne Thériault (@anne_theriault) July 20, 2017

Lot of folks who have never cared about Dr. Who before are suddenly very concerned. Maybe we should announce that climate change is a woman.
— Carol Hartsell (@carolrhartsell) July 16, 2017

The museum's terracotta warriors all suddenly speak. "Initializing phase two."
— batkaren (@batkaren) July 19, 2017

Seeing the Ex for the first time after the Breakup... pic.twitter.com/4jKJStglf5
— Julie Rasmussen (@JulieRasmussen) July 21, 2017

Looking back, I think all our problems started when we let Britney convince us she's not that innocent.
— shauna (@goldengateblond) July 20, 2017

First ghostbusters, then Wonder Woman, then a girl alien? Whats next, female balloons? Woman sand? A girl alphabet? Women can't be balloons
— Jill Gutowitz (@jillboard) July 16, 2017

People in Times Square: Why? Why do you come here willingly? Are you even enjoying it? If so, how?
— Christy Havranek (@diopter) July 21, 2017

"Pardoning yourself" sounds like GOP talk for masturbation.
— Twitnter is Coming (@OhNoSheTwitnt) July 21, 2017

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