The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 280-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets Of The Week newsletter here.
On HGTV they can flip a house in a month and I've been "getting ready to dust" for the past two weeks.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) February 27, 2018
Those who forget history are doomed to argue about it all day long on the internet.
— Kashana (@kashanacauley) February 25, 2018
Dang our White House has a higher turnover than Applebee's
— Katie Hannigan (@katiehannigan) February 28, 2018
NEVER READ THE COMMENTS would make a great tattoo.
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) February 28, 2018
Life is like a box of chocolates. There's at least a third of them in there who are gonna leave you with more questions than answers.
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) February 28, 2018
RELATIVE: You know about computers, right?
— Caitlin (@caithuls) February 28, 2018
ME (has a degree in computer science): No
Granola in your yogurt is good if you don’t want to enjoy granola or yogurt.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) February 27, 2018
I have 3 books started and they all just found out about each other
— Mindy Furano (@MindyFurano) February 26, 2018
I spent 6 full hours crafting a rage email I know why I’m alone
— Karen Kilgariff (@KarenKilgariff) February 28, 2018
I’m just saying when the live action Mulan comes out I will not be able to contain myself I’m gonna cut my hair with a sword in the theater
— em 🐉 (@uhhmmily) February 24, 2018
Everyone: sit like a lady
— ephrata✨ (@ephrata) February 27, 2018
Me: pic.twitter.com/RwVKEvTb4q
My only strict rule about total strangers carrying on their own conversation in my Twitter notifications is they must fall in love by the end of it.
— Elizabeth Hackett (@LizHackett) February 27, 2018
I know as a woman I'm supposed to be afraid of getting older but I love this shit so much. Every year I sink deeper into this bath of unapologetic realness and it's amazing.
— Bunmi Laditan (@HonestToddler) February 27, 2018
Looking at a man's bookshelf or collection of records or list of favourite movies like pic.twitter.com/oPNc6FAOG3
— Sam Montgomery (@sammontgomery) February 26, 2018
I’m Sorry My Pants Are So Noisy: A Memoir
— Julia Gulia (@JRobb773) February 27, 2018
Something weird is happening. I’m getting things done. I did my laundry and folded it in the same day. Send help.
— roxane gay (@rgay) February 26, 2018
i miss booing people someone take me to a sport
— yung royal sandals (bata edition) (@krutika) February 27, 2018
How to beat your face:
— ashley (@kimkarASHlian) February 25, 2018
Moisturize
Eyebrows
Primer
Eye makeup
Foundation
Concealer
We overthrow
Men at
Midnight
Set/bake
Contour
Blush
Highlight
Lips
Setting spray
I’m not so self-righteous that I will die on any hill but I will lay on most of them for a really really long time without getting up
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) February 25, 2018
The fun part about living right now is we get to see how it ends
— Megan Amram (@meganamram) February 28, 2018
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