The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant ― but succinct ― wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week’s great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
Sign up for our Funniest Tweets Of The Week newsletter here.
wow I was in a great mood but now im just mad at everyone who didn't tell me fivel goes west is on netflix
— Julia Bush (@jabush) May 22, 2017
If ABC thinks I'm going to suddenly start watching "The Bachelorette" just to see men fighting over a black woman they are absolutely right.
— Ashley Calloway-B. (@ashleycalloway) May 23, 2017
Concept: me perhaps not becoming irritated by every fucking little thing
— Maria 🐻 (@cakefacedcutie) May 22, 2017
ARE YOU EATING ENOUGH CHEESE? ILU
— Nicole Chung (@nicole_soojung) May 23, 2017
- me, just checking up on my friends
I don't carry pepper spray, but I do carry a list of things that aren't going well in my life that should earn me the pity of any assailants
— Shalyah Evans (@ShalyahEvans) May 23, 2017
When it's New Hair Monday and my coworkers have questions. pic.twitter.com/JH8JRXbFV7
— Melanie Dione (@beauty_jackson) May 23, 2017
Finally figured out how to induce panic attacks in women: get them high and put on the Handmaid's Tale.
— alana hope levinson (@alanalevinson) May 23, 2017
hello, so nice to google you for the first time
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) May 21, 2017
Justin Trudeau looks like The Bachelor and Macron has just stolen him away for a second. pic.twitter.com/tXLdSrD02j
— Hanna Flint (@HannaFlint) May 26, 2017
Chopped shows you can make something out of anything so when I ran out of strawberry jam I melted some gummy bears and made a kitchen fire.
— Abbi Crutchfield (@curlycomedy) May 23, 2017
*invited to a networking event*
— Julie Horvath (@nrrrdcore) May 23, 2017
Me: Fake my death go to Cuba that's the only option
Passport stamps but for every state you have a panic attack in
— Brittani Nichols (@BisHilarious) May 24, 2017
I take work smoke breaks outside a yoga/barre studio called EXHALE bc I'm committed to irony
— Brandy Jensen (@BrandyLJensen) May 23, 2017
[gets out of bed]
— wikipedia brown (@eveewing) May 24, 2017
[pours a tall, cold glass of Haterade]
[takes a generous swig]
AHHHHH GOOD MORNING WORLD! READY TO FACE THE DAY
You can tell a lot about a girl by who looks better in the photos she posts for your birthday.
— maggie mull (@infinitesimull) May 23, 2017
I can either be on time for things or I can look good, you cannot expect both.
— Akilah Hughes (@AkilahObviously) May 24, 2017
Me: If you could only bring one thing with you to a desert island, what would it be?
— JennyPentland (@JennyPentland) May 24, 2017
7yo: Uh. Earth.
RT if you've ever sung "Thank you for being my cat" to your pet to the tune of the Golden Girls theme song.
— Emily McCombs (@msemilymccombs) May 25, 2017
TV Guy: "Here's our subject in her natural environment, foraging for food."
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) May 23, 2017
*Camera cuts to me on the couch, finding an almond in my bra*
"Never trust the children of real estate developers" is the primary lesson of both this administration and the Fyre Festival.
— emily nussbaum (@emilynussbaum) May 24, 2017
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