The 20-Something Life: Your Questions On Asking For a Raise and Transitioning Out of College Answered

The celebrated ritual of transitioning from university life to real life is an example of a champagne toast that may come with what I call an "Expectation Hangover."
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Please send me your questions by posting them in the comments section below. You can also email me at christine@huffingtonpost.com.

Question #1:

I have been at my company for two years now and I want to ask for a raise. I'm nervous about approaching my boss about it, but I really need to make more money. What's the best way to ask for a raise? - Wanting a Raise, 25, Florida

Dear Wanting a Raise,
Approaching a supervisor for more money can be very nerve-racking, so I can understand why you're hesitant. To calm your nerves, you need to prepare for this meeting instead of just going in cold and asking for more money.

First, make a bulleted list of your accomplishments at the company that you can review with your boss such as: policies you've put into place; projects you've worked on; procedures you've improved, people you've supported, sales numbers you've impacted, and so on. Also, brainstorm new ideas or responsibilities you could act on that would make you an even more valuable employee at your company.

Next, research competing salaries for the type of work you do. Monster.com and Salary.com are good resources. Know salaries for similar positions, doing the same kind of work, and in cities with comparable costs of living. Have an exact figure in mind that you intend to ask for. Be reasonable, not greedy. Going in and just asking for "a raise" is too broad and does not demonstrate you've done your professional research.

After you have done your homework, set a time to meet with your boss. Get on his or her schedule by saying you'd like to have an appointment for a review and to discuss your growth at the company.

When it's time for the meeting, take a deep breath. Bring your bullet point list of accomplishments and ideas with you. Start the meeting by thanking your boss for his or her time, and for the opportunities you've been afforded so far. Be clear that your intention in having the meeting is to review job performance, present ideas and discuss a salary increase.

Remember, negotiating on your own behalf is something to feel confident about! Being your own advocate is a skill integral to your success. * Christine

Question #2:

I graduated from college in May of 2007 and I am so depressed. I miss it so much, the real world just isn't as fun...in fact it's kind of boring. I guess I had this expectation that it would be a lot cooler than it is. I was so excited to graduate but now that I have, I just want to go back. How can I enjoy my life when all I want to do is go back to college? - Missing College, 22, Michigan

The celebrated ritual of transitioning from university life to real life is an example of a champagne toast that may come with what I call an "Expectation Hangover." There is so much build up to gradation, but now that the ink on your diploma is dry you are experiencing the normal period of adjustment to the "real world."

I don't have to tell you that college is a unique experience and you can't expect twenty-something life to be the same. First, give yourself some time to transition. You went from having friends delivered in classrooms and res halls to having to make new friends on your own. The days of cramming for an exam have been replaced by forty to sixty hour work weeks with no summer vacations. It's different, but it's only going to be a disappointing kind of different if you continue to approach it that way.

To smooth out the transition and withdrawal from college, create some things in your life that are similar to the collegiate experience. For instance, college has elements of ritual, events that you came to expect- whether it was sports game, finals week, Wednesday keg night, or a bi-annual formal. Create things to regularly look forward to like enrolling in a class that meets once a week or starting a card night with your friends. Ritualize your own life a little by doing the same something you enjoy once a week or month. I promise, soon you'll adjust to your life as a grown up - consumed by your career, your relationships, and dreams - and the longing for your college days will wear off.

So for now, move into acceptance of where you are. College is over. Period. You are an official player in the real world and although it may not be as "fun" - it has its perks. Try not to live in the past, reminiscing about the "glory days." Twenty-something life can be just as glorious.
*Christine

Please send me your questions by posting them in the comments section below. You can also email me at christine@huffingtonpost.com.

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