The ladies of Twitter never fail to brighten our days with their brilliant -- but succinct -- wisdom. Each week, HuffPost Women rounds up hilarious 140-character musings. For this week's great tweets from women, scroll through the list below. Then visit our Funniest Tweets From Women page for our past collections.
White dudes who go jogging after 11 PM are just bragging.
— Jazmine Hughes (@jazzedloon) June 9, 2016
10 a.m.: champagne toast for coworker who got engaged
— Julia Bush (@jabush) June 8, 2016
4 p.m.: champagne toast for coworker who got married
at least i'm drunk
I look at Chrissy and John as relationship goals because they stay on Twitter all day tweeting each other from the same room. That's love.
— Jasmyn (@JasmynBeKnowing) June 8, 2016
AUTOCORRECT, YOU SON OF A BITCOIN
— Kendra Alvey (@Kendragarden) June 8, 2016
Bermie is staying in the race because he gets a punch in his card with each additional primary and at the end, a free cup of coffee.
— Negin Farsad (@NeginFarsad) June 9, 2016
Hillary became the presumptive Democratic presidential nominee and I hit 3k followers what a crazy 24 hrs for the both of us 🇺🇸
— Carly Ledbetter (@ledbettercarly) June 8, 2016
Intriguing when they lower the lights in a restaurant, & force you to consider your dinner companion in a romantic way, even if it's a book
— Aparna Nancherla (@aparnapkin) June 5, 2016
If every dude with long hair isn't secretly a wizard then why bother
— Off-#Brand (@Jenn_Tisdale) June 8, 2016
Last night I bore witness to an iconic moment in history. Beyoncé sneezed, y'all. I was there. SHE SNEEZED ON THE BEAT N THE BEAT GOT SICKER
— Heben Nigatu (@heavenrants) June 8, 2016
Me: "An obscure, poorly rated romantic comedy I haven't already seen!? Yes, please!"
— Allison Raskin (@AllisonRaskin) June 8, 2016
Me, ten minutes later: "I've already seen this."
My awful neighbors' Trump sign has disappeared! I made this happen. I made it happen with my mind. Like Matilda.
— Nicole Chung (@nicole_soojung) June 9, 2016
We need to stop asking famous women which inspiring woman made her into a feminist and start asking her which act by a mediocre man did
— Alana Massey (@AlanaMassey) June 9, 2016
a rose in the streets but a blanche in the sheets pic.twitter.com/r73xwwHmUf
— Ziwe (@Ziweeee) June 7, 2016
My club jam: "LADIES IF U EVER FEEL LIKE CRYING FOR NO REASON SAY HELL YEAH"
— Dana Schwartz (@DanaSchwartzzz) June 8, 2016
wake me up when it’s trendy to be basic again
— lauren ashley bishop (@sbellelauren) June 9, 2016
Delete your account. https://t.co/Oa92sncRQY
— Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton) June 9, 2016
18 years later, which Sex and the City character are you? I am the myth that writing one weekly column can financially sustain you.
— Anne T. Donahue (@annetdonahue) June 9, 2016
A bird fell into a vat of chicken tikka masala in England and turned orange yesterday so I don't need any more internet for about a week.
— Jenny Yang (@jennyyangtv) June 10, 2016
#DeleteYourAccount -- my bank, to me
— Amanda Duberman (@AmandaDuberman) June 10, 2016
my newborn just looked up at me and said "mommy, why is piers morgan so unequivocally douchy?" i didn't know what to say
— christine teigen (@chrissyteigen) June 6, 2016
This election isn't a choice between apples and oranges.
— Sally Kohn (@sallykohn) June 10, 2016
It's a choice between an experienced, visionary woman candidate... and an orange.
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