Real Life. Real News. Real Voices.
Help us tell more of the stories that matter from voices that too often remain unheard.
Join HuffPost Plus
THE BLOG

The 5 Stages of Baby Fever

Doesn't it seem like everyone around you is getting pregnant or having babies? There must be something in the water, and about 99.9% of us moms want to drink it.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.
Mother sleeping with newborn baby on bed
Mother sleeping with newborn baby on bed

Doesn't it seem like everyone around you is getting pregnant or having babies? There must be something in the water, and about 99.9% of us moms want to drink it.

We see another update with a cute pair of gender neutral baby shoes, a "coming soon" sign with two proud parents to be, and we melt. We go right back to the moment when we announced our pregnancies, and we want it again. We meet our friend's new baby and we immediately yearn for the newborn smell and the sweet coo's.

Baby fever is very strong, and the struggle is real. It comes and goes. Sometimes it's few and far between, and sometimes it feels like it comes on multiple times a day.

The one thing that is certain about baby fever is the cycle we go through. There are 5 distinct stages each woman goes through, and each one is very crucial to the process.


Irrational need and Urgency

The first stage is defined by the distinct "OMG I NEED one NOW," and the "I have to get pregnant, like YESTERDAY" thoughts. The sufferer is going through intense feelings, stemming from the heart and gut simultaneously. The brain is not functioning at this time.

This is the stage where we are picturing a newborn in our lives, but without the constant crying and explosive poop. We don't need much persuasion, because we are already on board with the idea of bringing another member into the family.

Anger and Frustration

This stage is brought on by the inevitable "Hell NO" received from the would-be-dad. Hearing those words feel like a kick in the gonads to us moms. These words may come as a huge shock, because who doesn't want a new baby?

The dads in question think they are being rational, and may present numerous reasons why a baby might not be the best idea at the moment. His words will likely land on deaf ears, because the brain is still not functioning in this stage of the fever.

Acceptance

Depending on the dad's willpower, we all eventually land in stage 3. We accept the fact that he is not budging, and we may be SOL. We finally accept the fact that we are most likely not going to get our way at the moment.

Our brains are starting to function at this time, and the heart may be slowly breaking. Although we have accepted the fact that it's not in the cards for us, the force is still strong with us.

Bargaining

Now that our brains have taken over and we realize that it really is not a good time for a baby, we enter the bargaining process. We start to negotiate with ourselves, saying that if we accomplish one thing, then maybe a baby will be more reasonable. We will maybe think up a timeline of when it would work, and that will be a temporary fix for the fever.

Relief

This stage can come on the same day, or weeks later. For me, it almost always comes on at the same time my 2 year old decides to throw a tantrum over Reese's or the Minions movie. Somehow these tantrums seem to knock some sense into me. I realize that these tantrums would be a hell of a lot harder to deal with if I had a newborn to tend to as well.

The calm after the storm always brings on self-reflection, which turns to relief. If I had a newborn here things would be a whole lot crazier, and it's ok to wait it out a bit. Every time the fever subsides I am reminded of the sweet baby I do have, and it makes me appreciate him even more. Nothing can take away the time I do get with my son, at least not for now. One day I will give him a baby brother or sister, but it could be years for now. Then again, it could be sooner. ;)

Read more from Gabrielle at My Life on a Whim