Helping women to meet men online for the past decade has frequently exposed me to aspects of humanity that no man should be ever be exposed to. And when I say exposed, I use the term "exposed" loosely, as many men will literally offer to expose themselves to the women I help. Ah, how lucky it is to be a woman these days. I mean, who wouldn't feel flattered when the mysterious man with the bathroom selfie makes such a generous offer?
As I work with my female clients, I often wonder whether or not much of the male online dating population, protected by the anonymity of an online dating screen, is beyond redemption. But perhaps much of they male population can still be saved. Maybe many of these men just need a little bit of guidance in the right direction (some from a well-trained psychologist armed by four security cameras?)
Well ladies, today is your chance to help make a difference in the online dating community. In this article I will present the 5 types of emails that men should never write to a woman online. If you agree, be sure to share this email with men in need. If we could prevent just one more man from exposing himself on the Internet, perhaps the world will be a better place for all!
1. Hey (insert any pet name)
How men hope you will react: "Awww, he's really sweet."
How a woman will never react: "Hey there back you sweet, charming man you. How are YOU doing yourself my little boo bear!"
Women do not want to be called baby, honey, or any other pet names online. This is not endearing when it is coming from a complete stranger. Pet names should only be used when in an actual relationship. As a man, you may think you are being sweet, but these words will only cause women to feel uncomfortable.
2. Any sexual suggestion or innuendo
How men hope you will react: "Finally, an opportunity to have all my needs met! How soon can we meet!"
How women will actually react: "Are there any normal men left on this planet?"
Non-sexual flirtation is a good thing. Overtly hinting at anything sexual is not. Unless you are on a dating site that is specifically geared towards random encounters, or you happen to have the six pack and charm of Ryan Gosling, keep the sexual innuendo to yourself.
3. What do you like to do for fun?
How men hope you will react: "Finally, someone who is interested in getting to know me!"
How women will actually react: "Ummm, you see that thing called my profile? It actually says 15 things that I like to do. Maybe you should read it?"
Your questions should reflect that you have actually read the woman's profile and are taking a serious interest. Try to open up your emails with a fun and playful joke, then pick a commonality, find something interesting to comment on, and ask a question about it.
4. What's up?
How you hope a woman will react: "Oh hey! Not much! What's up with YOU!"
How a woman will actually react: "Great, another boring email that shows no original thought."
If you want a woman to be interested in you, than you need to make an effort to actually be interesting. Women often receive dozens of approaches per week. Writing an email that shows no effort or thought gives a woman zero incentive to respond when she has multiple other options to choose from with men who are actually putting in the effort to strike up an interesting conversation.
5. You have the most beautiful...
How you hope a woman will react: "Awwww. He is so sweet"
How a woman will actually react: "I wish he focused more on who I am as a person."
All women want to feel beautiful. But not in a first email. This should be the part of the courting process where you make a woman feel special for who she is on the inside. Save the comments about her beautiful smile and amazing eyes for a first date, or at the mimimum, a second or third email. The more you place the emphasis on looks, the more you run the risk of a woman wondering what your intentions are.