It’s nearly Inauguration Day, and then Donald Trump’s reign of darkness will officially begin. But there is hope. Over the course of his life, the president-elect has carefully hidden pieces of his spiritual being within artifacts that have held special meaning to the dark lord.
Now for the good news. After aggressive research by our spirit dimension reporters, we believe we’ve identified these seven artifacts.
If these horcruxes are destroyed, he will no longer have an anchor to this world, and he will vanish into the ether. And then we can all unfollow his Twitter account.