If you're an adult who loves waterslides, you know how embarrassing it is to wait in a 30-minute line with a gaggle of five-year-olds at Noah's Ark Water Park to ride the "Kowabunga." Only so many times that you can take a smirking, pimply teen asking you, "You sure you tall enough to ride, old man? You're extremely out of place here."
There's an alternative. And thy name is natural waterslide.
All over the world, carved into rock by erosion and millennia of rushing water, lies your alternative to getting your thrills like a child on the "Elephant's Trunk" at Kalahari Resort.
The best part -- there may be some kids there, but probably not too many if their parents have anything to say about it. Sliding down rock can leave some pretty heavy bruises. You've been warned.
1. Waitavala Waterslide, Fiji
On Taveuni Island in Fiji lies a long, sloping rock bed covered in rushing water. This is one of the most excellent natural waterslides in the world, and it cuts through the luscious rainforest for a luxurious 50 meters! Some say it's so fast zipping you along its various twists and turns that, oh, it'll bruise you pretty good. But all accounts say it's worth a little bit of pain for the thrill.
It's near the Garden Island Resort, so book your stay and ask a tour guide to point you in the direction of the water chute, apparently within walking distance. A Trip Advisor reviewer said she also accessed the slide with the help of a thoughtful driver taking them home to their accommodations at Paradise Tavauni.
2. Damajaqua Cascades, Dominican Republic
It's officially called the Damajaqua Cascades, but most refer to it for its main appeal -- "27 Waterfalls."
While no one slide here will match the length of Waitavala in Fiji or Meadow Run in Pennsylvania, this one makes our list for the diversity of the water experiences. It's like a waterpark built into the rock. Of course, it's a little more dangerous, and Us News & World Report Travel warns tourists against bringing their kids for the sheer strain of activity, which includes "climbing, sliding and cliff jumping" just a bit more advanced than you might want for your five-year-old precious baby. Expect a hike of about 25 minutes and to wear a helmet and life jacket.
This one's all natural, but it's not all free. You'll buy an admission based on how may of the 27 falls you want to see. Make sure you check out "La Tinajita."
3. Rere Rock Slides, New Zealand
About a 30 minute drive from Gisborne is the tiny town of Rere and the Rere Rock Slide on the Wharekopae River. One of the smoother rides on our list, you should be able to avoid too many bumps and bruises -- especially if you take advantage of inner tubes and boogie boards and manage not to fall off.
This one's awesome for how wide it is. It's like sledding with a bunch of your friends on a snow day, racing one another to the bottom, except it's hot out, the summer, and you're in freaking New Zealand.
And when you're done, chill while the adrenaline flows away from your heart with a walk in the 135 hectares of the beautifully vast Eastwoodhill Arboretum.
4. Alder Creek Water Slides, California
Oh my god is he ok!? Yeah, he is!
The nearly unmatchable natural beauty of the Kern River Valley gives way to a hidden gem -- the Alder Creek Water slides an hour drive from Kernville and an easy hike from the nearest parking area.
Plus, the jump. The jump! We don't know many people brave enough to hurdle themselves headfirst at the stone like that, but with a basin at the bottom, it looks like the consensus is -- it's a harmless, hilarious bellyflop of a good time.